


Illusionist

by BellatrixTheStar



Series: Illusionist [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Completed, Gen, High School, before S4, crazy mental powers, teen meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 22,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24943336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellatrixTheStar/pseuds/BellatrixTheStar
Summary: Juliet Mason received superpowers in the particle accelerator explosion. Some may think of telepathic powers as a blessing, but Juliet thinks it's a curse. When stress at school builds up, she accidentally uncovers a new way to use her powers. Cisco gets a ping.
Series: Illusionist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930084





	1. Prologue

Don’t listen. 

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t listen to them.

At least, that’s what I tell myself every day.  
Most of the time, I use music, and that blocks them out.  
I find hard rock with a loud volume works best.  
It’s a lot harder at school.

It all started when my family went on a holiday to Central City. When the particle accelerator exploded, I was twelve. I’ve heard that’s when a lot of people’s problems started.

We’d left the city pretty soon after, but the damage was done, though I hadn’t felt it yet. 

Six months later my mum and dad split up. And that was when it started.  
I’d always been curious about what other people were thinking, why they did what they did and all that. I didn’t realise how bad it would actually be until I heard my mum and dad fighting. I’d thought there’d been four people in the house shouting their lungs out, but when two voices continued long after physical mouths had been shut, I knew there was something wrong with me.

It had been a relief when they had finally decided that I should go with my dad. My dad had started drinking, and, unlike most kids, I’d been grateful because it dulled the noise that had become my constant companion since the split. It also meant he didn’t remember to send me to school, which I didn’t realise would actually mean more trouble until too late. Stupid attendance records.  
Mum had a new life by then and wouldn’t sign the papers to take me, which I realised said more about her than about me. I was put into foster care and moved to Central City, and the first thing I realised, was that no-one liked it when you knew what they were thinking. 

No one.  
Least of all, me.

Now I’m sixteen and I like rock music, being alone, and crunchy potato chips (there’s really no point if it doesn’t crunch loudly in your ears). I hate school, crowds, and telepathy.

I thought I had it under control.  
I was wrong.


	2. Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet goes to school, and we discover why she does not like trains.

My foster-mother, who insisted we call her Aunty Lin, hustled us out the door at a quarter to seven. The two boys rode off on their bikes immediately, and Cara got picked up by her friends in their car as soon as we turned the corner. I walked slowly towards the subway station, earbuds firmly in my ears and eyes scanning for the best paths to stay as far away from everybody as possible.

A gust of wind blew my loose black hair into my face and I reached up to brush it behind my ears. Taking my small iPod out of the pocket of my backpack, I changed the song, trying not to think about the assignments that were due today.

An English creative writing piece.

An essay for History about the creation of metahumans.

Some sort of artistic creation for Art symbolising my subconscious.

A- I cut myself off, cringing at the thought of all the work that was waiting for me. Most of it was overdue anyway.

Sighing, I descended the stairs to the underground, tensing up for the wave of mental noise my music never seemed to be able to drown out.

One, two, three

One, two, three

Sitting on a seat in the train, I tapped on my thigh, I tried to focus on the beat rather than the thoughts swirling thick and dark around me.

One, two, three

One, two, thr- I faltered.

A thrill of terror stole through me as some thoughts broke through.

“I wonder what my next story will be?” a journalist sitting opposite me thought.

“I’m bored.” A student from my school.  
“The Flash is so amazing!” A man to my right.  
“She’s so mean!” “I think I’m going to be fired-” “Is it going to rain?” “I want to watch-” “dream-” “stupid kid-” “there was a fire-” “metahumans" "unnatural-” “Arrow-”

I huddle, drowning, frantically counting in my mind.  
One, two, three  
One, two, three  
One, two, three

Finally, after a couple of rounds, my mind begins to settle, and my muscles slowly begin to unclench. I took the chance to glance up at the scrolling names of stops on this route.

It’s ok, you’re ok, Juliet, just keep counting. I silently tell myself it’s all going to be alright.

We reach my stop and I jump up as if my life depended on getting out the doors and lurch out onto the grungy platform, hurrying up towards the street. 

Stupid train.  
I wish I could just walk without being hopelessly late. I wouldn’t mind, but the school would.  
Stupid train.


	3. Too Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I got through most of my classes without making much trouble or doing much work, because it was hard to listen to the teacher when the music was turned up so loud. This had mostly worked all year, but today looked like the day it would all catch up with me."

I entered school, keeping to the edges and far away from the large groups of students milling around. Keeping a watchful eye on the biggest groups, I began to weave my way to the lockers, sometimes going far out of my way to avoid them.  
By the time I’d managed to get to my locker and change my books, the bell had rung. 

I made my way to my first class, hurrying ahead of the tide of students entering the building, and settling into my seat at the edge of the room, next to the door and a quick escape route.

The teacher was talking, but my music was slightly too loud to make out what she was saying. I tried to look like I was paying attention and tucked the cords of my headphones under my shirt. Everyone got out their books and I did the same. They started writing. I did the same, though I probably wasn’t writing what I was supposed to. I wish I knew what I was supposed to do; then I could do it, but the teacher hadn’t put up notes on the white board today. 

Halfway through Maths, the assistant principal came to get Bronwyn Jones out of class. I didn’t know many of my classmates by name, due to my…hearing problems I guess you could call them, but I knew Wyn because he was in trouble a lot. His name was often written on the white board and if I paid attention, he looked like he back talked the teacher more than everyone else. When he wasn’t making trouble, he sat at the back of the class, looking bored and annoyed. Today, as he left the classroom, there was a funny look on his face, and I unconsciously leaned backwards when he passed me.

I got through most of my classes without making much trouble or doing much work, because it was hard to listen to the teacher when the music was turned up so loud. This had mostly worked all year, but today looked like the day it would all catch up with me.  
Just after recess, my English teacher, Mr Kliff, decided that now was a good time to talk. I didn’t realise he was talking to me at first because I was pretending to write in my book. Mistake number one.

“Juliet, pull those headphones out!” His raised tone caught me off guard.  
I jumped guiltily, eyes flying to the annoyed man standing above me.  
“Sorry, Sir.” I said, pulling one side out.  
“Both of them.”  
I tensed up in fear. “Sir?”  
“You heard me.”  
My breathing sped up, as I slowly complied.   
It’s only for ten seconds. Just hold out for ten seconds.  
One, two, three,  
four, five, six,  
I began counting.

“Juliet…overdue…get it done…in trouble…failing…” He was speaking, but I was too focused on surviving my two seconds to hear him properly. Suddenly, he raised his voice.  
“Are you even listening now?!” Frustrated brown eyes met my own.  
I was startled and lost count.  
Five? Seven? Where was I? Desperately trying to retain my focus, I floundered.

_“Does she have a hearing issue I don’t know about? Doesn’t she know she’s close to failing several subjects, not just English?” ___

__First it was him, then the rest of the class._ _

___“Why isn’t she doing anything?” “Failing? No wonder-” “She’s always distracted-” “I hope she’s-” “Why isn’t she saying anything?” “Why isn’t she doing-” “Why-” “Why-” “WHY?” ____ _

____It was too much._ _ _ _

____“Stop it stop it stop it stop it!” I chanted frantically, throwing my hands over my ears in a fruitless effort to block them all out. “Please!”_ _ _ _

_____“Why is she yelling!?” “What on earth-” “She’s crazy-” “I hope she’s not going to-” “What is going on?” “Why can’t she-” “Why-” “What-” “Crazy!” ____ _ _ _

______I whimpered, clutching my head, and finally, mercifully, something gave.  
I felt a wave of, something, pulse out from my mind.  
For a single second, everything went silent.  
Then everything was louder. Screaming and horror emanated from every mind in the room, and I was afraid to open my eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______After what seemed an age, it was silent again._ _ _ _ _ _

________What did you do, Juliet? _  
I don’t know.  
The school was empty, and I was drained.  
I crawled to the back of the classroom and began to sob. Heaving, wracking sobs that seemed to come from my core.  
 _What did I do? _  
I don’t know.____ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I wrote this...I don't know, maybe almost a year ago? And I'm cringing so hard. But I guess that's a good thing because it means I've probably got better? I hope that's true, because that's half the reason I got into writing fanfiction in the first place :)  
> Anyway, I hope you guys are happy and healthy,  
> Trix


	4. Ping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're sleep deprived already and someone decides to set another rouge metahuman on Central City. Just a day in the life of Cisco.

Barry whooshed into the lab bearing seven coffees, one already mostly finished.

“Thank goodness, I thought Cisco was actually going to get a concussion.” Caitlin said, quickly walking over to the steaming cups. 

When Barry had left, Cisco had been banging his head against the desk and complaining about the fruitlessness of life. Quickly predicting the rapid degradation of the situation, Iris had sent Barry for coffee; the miraculous solution to everything.

Iris walked over and kissed Barry of the cheek with a, “Thanks babe,” before grabbing her own order off the cardboard carrier. 

“If all life is basically a specific combination of atoms lumping together, why is it so hard?” Cisco exclaimed, forehead to the desk, slumped over in his swivel chair.

“Maybe it’s to do with the sleep deprivation. Pulling all nighters whenever a metahuman decides to rampage is not good for our health.” Caitlin commented, sipping her own revitalising hot drink and leaning against the infirmary doorway.

“Yeah, but if we don’t, who will?” Barry said light-heartedly, but there was a bit of heaviness behind it that meant the response didn’t quite fly with the rest of them. Nobody said anything though.

Joe, seeing that Cisco wouldn’t be bothered to get up and get the coffee himself, grabbed the last two from the carrier and put one next to Cisco’s head.

“Drink it, Cisco, because I don’t think I can cope if you launch into another lecture about the meaning of existence.” Rolling his eyes, he took a big swig of his own coffee and started towards the door. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I actually have a job that I need to show up to.” And with that, he walked out. 

“Speaking of, Captain Singh will be on my back about tardiness again if I’m a no-show, so-” Barry disappeared, leaving only a flash of red lightning behind.

Cisco, obviously having drunk his coffee, sat up and stretched. “You got work too?” He asked Iris, eager to have some peace and quiet.

“That last meta had a good story, I just need to write it up.” Glancing at Cisco’s raised eyebrows, she clarified, “Yes, I do have work. See you guys later.”

As soon as she left, he slumped back into his swivel chair and called to Caitlin, “Wake me up if- no, when another meta decides to terrorise the city.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Ten minutes later, a ping goes off on Cisco’s phone.  
A large groan erupted from the figure at the desk, and Caitlin walked in with a frown.

“That didn’t take long. You didn’t jinx it did you?”

“Jinx it? Who needs jinxing when we’ve just got plain bad luck?!” Cisco exclaims, swivelling the chair and rolling to the nearest computer just as Barry ran in.

“ We have a problem?” He asks, already moving for his suit.

“And it’s another Tuesday, what’s your point?” Cisco grumps.

“One, it’s Wednesday, and two, I meant what *is* the problem.” Barry said, exasperated. He changed into his suit faster than the eye can see and walks over to the display.

“Central City High School has a meta problem- looks like all the kids and teachers ran out of the building screaming not too long ago. CCPD says they said they were seeing their worst fears. No one else could see what they were describing.” Cisco says, looking more interested and awake than he’d seemed all day.

“Do you know why?” Barry asks, already taking off for the school.

“Nah, still getting our stupid satellites fully back online from when DeVoe hacked them. But the infrared is running. Looks like there’s still one person inside, doesn’t look too big, probably a kid.” Cisco informs him, mouth to the microphone in the middle of the desk.

“Thanks, I’m going in.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Barry walked through the hallways at Cisco’s direction and arrived at a seemingly empty classroom. Peering through the window, he saw a huddled figure of a girl at the back of the room. Proceeding cautiously, he opened the door.

“Hello? Are you ok?”

No response.

He walked towards to her, but before he could do anything else, a wave of something slammed into his mind, and suddenly, he was seeing things all around him. Impossible things.

Thoroughly spooked, he turned tail, trying to come up with a new plan, then he stopped.

Running back, he grabbed the girl and sprinted out of the school, back to S.T.A.R. Labs.  
As he ran, he wondered what had happened at the school. Who was the girl? Was what he was seeing real?

Barry ran faster.


	5. Silence

I don’t know how long it had been before I felt someone enter the school.

It had been so long since I had felt this peaceful, since I’d owned this much silence.

Even the headache that had developed didn’t seem to hurt as bad when it was quiet.

So, I noticed immediately the moment it might shatter.

_Go away! _I thought forcefully, _Stay quiet! _____

____Whoever it was obviously couldn’t hear me._ _ _ _

____I crawled back to my desk and grabbed my headphones, which had been abandoned in the confusion earlier. Stuffing them in my ears, I pressed play on a playlist of Metallica songs. I wasn’t the biggest fan, but they were the first playlist I saw with the amount of sound I wanted.  
Enter Sandman was first up, and I closed my eyes in relief._ _ _ _

____Safe._ _ _ _

____A whoosh and a crackle and I scrambled back.  
Red lightning._ _ _ _

_____NO! _I screamed in my head, not caring who it was, _LEAVE ME ALONE! ______ _ _ _

________The sensation of pushing past a wall again filled my brain and I squeezed my eyes shut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I relaxed when nothing happened, and opened my eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Faster than the blink of an eye, he was back, grabbing me with one arm. Then the world slowed down, and we were gone.  
Closing my eyes again, I focussed on Metallica. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Finally, a stillness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I had been put down somewhere._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After a few minutes, a throbbing headache pounded through my temples._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Blue padded walls, and a glass wall in front of me._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________No matter how much I might dislike reading their thoughts, it was better to find out what they wanted with me.  
Cringing and tensed up and slowly took out an earbud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I took out the other one with growing amazement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Still nothing!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A slow grin filled my face and I stood up, relaxed. Maybe what ever had happened had destroyed my powers? Was that too much to hope for?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I grinned at the ceiling.  
The smile settled onto my face and not even my headache could dull it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________About an hour later, according to my practically unused iPod, three people walked into the room beyond the glass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I still don’t think we should’ve imprisoned her. She’s just a girl!” A woman with red hair and a lab coat said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You didn’t see what she did at the school, and, I didn’t know how else to get rid of this-this hallucination! It’s still not going away, even with her in there.” A man in a red suit argued distractedly. The Flash, I realised._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I think we should call her The Illusionist.” A young man in a Star Wars T-shirt mused._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let’s just talk to her first,” the red head sighed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The three of them turned to face me and warily, I took a step back.  
Out of habit, I let them speak first._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They seemed to realise I wasn’t going to say anything, and the lady asked gently, “What’s your name, sweetie?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Juliet. Why did you take me here?” I asked cautiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t you know what happened at the school?” The Flash asked incredulously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not really.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Can you tell us the last thing you remember then?” He asked, his voice becoming harder.  
“Well, Sir was getting upset because-” I cut myself off, rubbing my hands anxiously, “-he was upset. And I-I-I my headphones and-” I took a deep breath and said simply, “-it was too loud. There was too much noise.” My eyes shifted down to the ground. I shouldn't have said anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re not telling us something.” The guy who’d wanted to name me The Illusionist stated, “You seemed happy to be in the cell when you arrived. Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I-it-sorry. It’s just, it’s so quiet in here.” I said simply, not looking them in the eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nobody wants to hear that I can poke through their heads. No matter how nice they seem. And these guys weren't exactly mean, but they weren't letting me walk free either._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m Doctor Caitlin Snow,” the red-haired woman started, “We know there’s something you’re not telling us. We’re not going to hurt you, but we need to know what you did to those people so-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?” I cut her off, my eyes darting up to meet her brown ones, “What I did to who? I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I swear.” A wave of panic shot through me like an electric current in my veins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________What had I done?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. Fears

“What? How can you not know?” the man said, obviously surprised, “Oh, and I’m Cisco, by the way. Nice to meet you and all that.”

At my obviously worried expression, The Flash seemed to soften, and explained, “Everybody ran out of the school screaming saying they were seeing monsters and their worst fears come to life. Nobody else could see what everyone else was talking about, but people who got too close to their fears seemed to become even more frightened. You were the only one left in the building.”

I could feel the blood drain from my face.

“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered.

“It’s fine, just as long as you tell us how to reverse it.” Caitlin said reassuringly.

It only made me feel worse.

“I don’t know how,” I said helplessly, sinking to the floor, “I don’t even know how I did it in the first place.”

“Let’s just go over this from the beginning,” Cisco said, beginning to pace back and forth, “Mr What’s-his-name is upset, something about your headphones, and then what?”

“I’m a metahuman. My power is that I can hear everyone’s thoughts.” I hear myself say dully, “I use my headphones to block it out. He was upset because I some of my work is overdue and he forced me to take out my headphones.”

“That’s what you meant by ‘too loud’ before, wasn’t it?” Caitlin said, realisation coming across her face. I nodded.

“I should’ve known there was a good reason for someone actually liking a cell that dampens their abilities.” Cisco rolled his eyes.

“Can you describe what happened when you took off your headphones?” The Flash asked.

I looked up into the face that seemed so expressionless beneath the mask.  
“I took them off, and tried to focus on counting numbers, but he raised his voice because I wasn’t listening to him. I-I,” I paused and took a breath, “I couldn’t block them all out and they were so loud. I don’t really know what happened after that.”

They turned inward and began discussing ideas.  
“She might’ve sent out a telepathic wave by projecting the electromagnetic pulses that are normally confined to the brain.” Caitlin hypothesised.

“Maybe, but how to we reverse it?” The Flash interjected, “There are a dozen people still running around Central City with their worst fears chasing them and the CCPD is still trying to round them up.”

“We could make something similar to what we made for Cecile?” Cisco said, adding his input, “But that would probably be a temporary solution. I’d need a closer look at a victim or, what we really need, is for her to learn to reverse it.” 

“I don’t know if that’s possible,” Caitlin admitted, worry crinkling her brow, “It took us ages to develop our own powers and she’s only a teenager.”

Glancing at me, they moved the conversation out into the hallway where I couldn’t hear them.

Head against the padded wall of the cell, the silence that had been so relaxing before now seemed to accuse me.  
 _See! If you had just kept control, this wouldn’t be happening. Now you’re basically a supervillain! You’ve got a name and everything- _  
I cut myself off and curled up with my back against the wall, trying not to think about it.__

__Eventually, the dull throbbing of my headache subsided, and I fell into an exhausted sleep._ _


	7. Stop the Music

I woke up to a guilty conscience, and someone calling my name.

“Juliet…Juliet!”

Opening my eyes, I saw the glass door begin to lower. Shock brought me to my senses.

“No!” I shouted, diving for my abandoned headphones and frantically shoving them in my ears before the noise from outside can get through.

As Paradise City blazes through my ears, I relax and focus on the music. Must've still been on the Rock playlist from yesterday.

_Safe ___

__Looking up, the glass wall had begun to close again. When it shuts with a finality, I tug the earbuds out._ _

__“Sorry, Juliet, I didn’t think it would be that bad if there weren’t a lot of people.” Caitlin’s voice penetrates the glass, and I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I’d held._ _

__“S’ok,” I mumbled tiredly, “Just warn me next time or I might hurt you too.”_ _

__“About that, we need you to try and reverse what you did. Cisco is trying, but all he’s come up with are temporary solutions, not permanent ones. I hate to ask, but can you at least try?”_ _

__I wince, “How do you know I won’t make it worse?”_ _

__“We can bring a victim into the cell with you so it’s just you and them, and-” she took a breath, “-and he says if it makes it worse, he’s willing to take that risk.”_ _

__I think introspectively for a moment, trying to guess if I can. After a moment, I sigh._ _

___There is no choice. You’ve got to at least try and make it right. You owe it to all the people you hurt, Juliet. ____ _

____“Well, I have to try, don’t I?” I say to Caitlin aloud, trying to sound brave, not like I’m dreading the very thought of being alone with someone else’s thoughts._ _ _ _

____“Thank you, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Caitlin says with a smile._ _ _ _

____-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-_ _ _ _

____An hour later, Cisco, Caitlin, The Flash, a woman named Iris, and a police officer named Joe were standing in the room next to the blue room. I still didn’t see the victim Caitlin said would be here, but I suppose he’s coming._ _ _ _

____“Are you sure this is safe?” Iris asks The Flash, and she sounds worried. She’s beautiful and her simple green dress is stylish. I wonder why she’s worried, she wasn’t at the school was she?_ _ _ _

____“No, but it’s worth a try.” The Flash says firmly._ _ _ _

____I wish I had his confidence and certainty.  
I put my earbuds in preparation for the lifting of the glass. I know I’ll miss this room and the silence it promises when this is all over. Having a ‘time out’ room could be useful._ _ _ _

____It begins to lift, and The Flash himself steps though, smiling at my confused look.  
The glass slams shut._ _ _ _

____Tugging one of my earbuds out, I ask, “What? But you weren’t-?”_ _ _ _

____He cuts me off gently, saying, “Yes, you got me when I came to investigate Cisco’s ping at the school.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh.” I say in a small voice. “Sorry.”  
I hesitantly take the second one out._ _ _ _

_____“I know you can do it.” ____ _ _ _

______I look up in shock, a thousand things running through my mind. First among them is, _No one’s ever thought that about me before.__ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Just focus on my thoughts and try and undo what you did earlier.” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ok, focus.  
I take a deep breath.  
It’s surprisingly easy to cope when there’s only one person’s thoughts to deal with because I can tune him in and out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I close my eyes and do as he says.  
At first, I only hear his thoughts.  
_“I hope Iris doesn’t worry too much” “Just stay relax so Juliet doesn’t freak out, Barry” “Ignore the illusion; it’s not real” _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His mind was different to any I’d heard before because the red lightning seemed to be everywhere. It wasn’t as if his thoughts were faster than anyone else’s, but there was this force of crackling electricity that I’d never encountered before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I dug a little deeper, into what I supposed was his subconscious.  
Then I see it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Suddenly, there are dead bodies all around us, eyes staring emptily into nothing. I recognise some of the people standing outside the glass. The woman named Iris, the police officer, Joe, Cisco, Caitlin, and a few others. A woman with burning red hair and a white blouse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I recoil.  
I frantically try to push the illusion away, but then I pause._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Is this his worst fear?  
Everyone he cares about, dead on the floor. And he can’t stop seeing it.  
No wonder they were all screaming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The memory of the school makes me cringe.  
_No, I have to focus on fixing him.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________I examine the picture.  
_It’s horrible, but it’s not real; all the people he seeing are still standing out there beyond the glass, watching us. _  
I accidentally push the thought at the man in front of me. When he reacts, I realise that he heard me.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The bodies start to fade and disappear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Iris, Joe, Caitlin, then Cisco._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Soon, all that’s left is the body of the woman, and another man with blue eyes and short, curly greyish hair.  
_Their bodies aren’t actually here, _I tell him, _I don’t know who they are, but they’re not here. You need to let them fade. _______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Surprisingly, I feel a burst of sadness and two names; 'Mum' and 'Dad'.  
Then, they fade._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________I open my eyes.  
Barry is smiling. And, I realise, I am too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Thanks Juliet.” He says, his eyes looking a little red, “I guess the best way to teach someone something really is to throw them in the deep end. Should’ve known Joe would be right. You did great.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Barry-” I start, then stop at the shocked look on his face. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to hear your name!” I exclaim, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment.  
For a moment, he looks tense, then relaxes, “It’s ok. I knew it was a risk when I stepped in here. Just don’t tell anyone, ok?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Ok, I promise.” I say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The glass begins to lift, and I dive for my headphones, but stop when a hand lands on my arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I don’t think you need them anymore.” The Flash says quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________I take a breath, slowly turning around, and I let myself be emboldened by my victory.  
The glass completely opens, and I brace for noise, then relax as only five voices cry for attention.  
I soon find that by focussing on my own thoughts, everyone else’s becomes background noise. A disbelieving smile spreads across my face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	8. Caitlin 1 - Cisco 0

After that first success, they begin taking me to where they’ve stashed the rest of my victims.   
Apparently, the only way the CCPD could stop them from panicking was to knock them out. When they’re awake, they’re apparently erratic and paranoid, eager to run away from the confused police. They’ve transported them to S.T.A.R. Labs though several trips in a ventilated truck.

One by one, Cisco and Dr Caitlin bring out patient after patient and I dispel each of their fears before they wake up. From clowns to killings, from spiders to fires, I find their fears and get rid of them. Then they’re taken back to Police Plaza and emergency services for a debrief and a health check.

Honestly, I’m relieved that this wasn’t more complicated. Normally the problems you see The Flash solve on TV seem so big and complicated. Blackholes and rogue speedsters are so huge that sometimes, it’s easy to forget that he deals with small stuff too. Makes me happy to live in Central City, to be honest.

“So, most of the people affected at the school have been cured,” Iris starts after I cured the last person in the room. She’s staring at a list of names on one of the many screens in what looks like Mission Control as she finishes, “but we’re still missing one person.”

I rack my brains for who it could be, and I feel fingers of nervousness wrap around my heart two seconds before Iris says his name. “A man named John Kliff”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Cisco is running a few city-wide searches, but we can’t do anything until we get the results.

Unlike him, Caitlin seems nice – like she actually cares about me not just the problems I create. Cisco seems to have a single-minded focus on whatever problem stands in his way. I glanced at the guy in question as his fingers flew like fire over his keyboard.

“You seem to have it under control,” Caitlin commented from beside me and I jump.  
“Great Caesar’s Ghost!” I choke out. I prefer to use crazy expletives than use the ones my dad used to use, and this is one Aunty Lin uses a lot.  
“What are you? Eighty?” Cisco’s voice echoes from the terminal and Caitlin side-eyes me with amusement.  
“Swearing’s overrated,” I muttered, turning a little pink.  
“What next? Great Scott? Sweet Petunias? Great Galumphing Galoshes?” Sarcasm sits heavy in the room and I try to fold into myself. 

_Stupid, stupid, Juliet, why can’t you just keep your darn mouth shut? ___

__“I’ve heard you use some of those before,” Caitlin smirks, “Something about Back To The Future, if I remember right.” My eyes flicked up in time to catch Cisco’s irritated expression.  
“That’s different!” He protested, “I was quoting, like the cultured person I am.”  
“Then it’s not ‘inconceivable’ that she could be quoting too; don’t you think you’re being a bit hypocritical?” Caitlin smiled.  
“Ohhhhhh, you did NOT just use The Princess Bride against me!” Cisco exclaimed, pushing back from the desk and spinning his chair around to face us, “I don’t know whether to be proud or not.” He added after a pause, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. Abruptly, he turned back to his work._ _

__“Caitlin, one, Cisco, zero.” Iris smirked as she left the room, Barry close behind her.  
“No, nononononono, she did not just win,” Cisco protested, still focussed on his computer, “I just decided that I would spare her from humiliating defeat.”_ _

__Silence is his only response as Caitlin and I left the room, the former grinning a small self-satisfied grin all the way out into the hallway._ _

__“So, explain to me what happens when you hear people’s thoughts?” Caitlin asks curiously as we walk. So I tell her.  
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-_ _

__“Got’im!” Cisco’s triumphant shout comes from what Caitlin calls “the cortex” and I could almost see him spinning in circles on his chair, arms held high.  
To be honest, I did not feel the same way._ _


	9. Part of Trying is Failing

“Do you think it’s safe to open the doors now? That energy spike she let off before was impressive!”

Voices drift across my mind.

“She might need medical attention. She was pushing herself too hard.”

“It might be safer to leave her in there until she’s calmed down and in control again. Otherwise we might all end up seeing things.”

I open my eyes to find Caitlin and Cisco standing outside the glass.  
“Sorry,” I blurt out, ashamed of how I’d almost hurt them when all they’d ever been was nice, “you may as well just leave me in here – I’ll just be a timebomb if you let me out.”

“True, but once a bomb detonates, it disintegrates, you on the other hand, will just keep exploding at random intervals.” Cisco pointed out helpfully, “So technically, you’re more like one of those Russian nesting dolls, but volatile.”

“Not helping, Cisco.” Caitlin said.

“No, he’s right,” I said, “just leave me in here or put me in one of those metahuman prisons. I can cause just as much chaos as those supervillains. At least they can control it, I can’t.”

“You have to admit she has a point!” Cisco said to Caitlin, “She could totally rob a bank in the same style as Top or create mass paranoia like The Trickster. And who knows if she’ll develop more crazy mental powers?” 

“Cisco!” Caitlin exclaims. “Really not helping!

“Fine! I’ve got something to work on anyway. Call me if it looks like we’re about to confront our worst nightmares.” Cisco said nonchalantly as he walked out.

Caitlin sighed, “Sorry, I think he’s still heart-broken on top of being sleep-deprived. If you hadn’t figured it out, we had a long night last night and tempers are a little short today.”

“That’s fine, but can I borrow a phone? I need to let my guardian know where I am, so she doesn’t worry.” I say quietly, reaching for my headphones and iPod.

“Sure, but is she going to be ok with you staying here? What are you going to tell her? ‘Hey mum, I’m just going to lock myself up with a bunch of strangers forever?’” Caitlin says disbelievingly.

“No! I don’t know-I just-” I stop, feeling overwhelmed. A spike of pain in my head makes me wince. “I’ve got to do something.”

“No, this is you doing nothing. You’re worried about all the what if’s and not worried enough about what not trying actually means. You’re letting your abilities control you rather than allowing yourself time to learn to control your abilities.”

“But what if the mistakes I make while trying hurt people?” I whisper, looking up into a pair of unexpectedly understanding brown eyes. “I just- I just can’t do it.” More firmly, I add, “And it was never going to work anyway. It was ok when I was just trying to block your guy’s minds, but there’s only a few of you. I take public transport everyday to school and I can barely keep people out as it is. Now, it’s only a matter of time before I end up ‘illusioning’ them again too.” 

“No. You can’t think like that,” Caitlin insists, “almost everyone in this building has had to learn to control their abilities and we all managed it. You can too.”

“It’s not as if your powers can make people run and scream in terror! I know I said my eyes were closed at the school, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t hear them.” I say, annoyed and anxious that she's going to unexpectedly lift the glass again, “They were screaming.”

“Actually, mine used to, sometimes, still does.” Caitlin says quietly.

“What?”

“I could end up killing someone.” Caitlin says louder, “When I first used my powers…bad things happened. At least you don’t have that risk.”

“So, have you got it under control now?” I ask, curious and somewhat hopeful.

“Sort of,” she says, frowning, “I-well, it’s complicated at the moment.”

“And did you end up killing anyone along the way?” I add suspiciously.

“No, but I’ve come close. I’m thankful for have good friends that stopped me. I can be that for you, if you want to give it a go?”

I sit and think about that for a second.  
Is it better to have tried and failed, or to have never tried at all?  
Is it fair to the people who might get hurt to even consider this?   
But it could be worth it if I used my control to help people. I really really want to be a part of the world, not just a scared observer. I want to be free!  
That was what really decided it. I couldn’t be a part of the world without controlling my powers. I want to make friends, and know what the teacher’s saying, and not get in trouble for being distracted. I want to have a life. I don’t want to hide in a corner anymore.  
I’d fixed all those other kids before; I could do it again if I slipped up.  
I could do this.  
Right?  
I looked into Caitlin’s big brown eyes and took a deep breath.

“Um..okay." I say hesitantly, then more firmly, "I’ll give it another try.”


	10. Dinner

“I called Aunty Lin and told her I’m metahuman. She wasn’t pleased that I hadn’t called before now, but she said that you guys could probably help me better than she could. Doesn’t mean she isn’t going to check on me again later, but she did say to drop me home before ten-thirty.” I say to Caitlin. We’re sitting in the pipeline, because she’s somehow managed to get me out of the meta-dampening cell.

“Great,” she says, taking her phone back, “I think what we need now is a strategy.”

“Why? What for?”

“For helping you block out everyone’s thoughts. From what I can tell, you said you counted numbers and listened to music, but it’s not a perfect solution, right?”

“Well, yeah, music’s pretty reliable though-” I start, and she finishes as I trail off.

“-but you can’t go through life with your headphones on all the time.”

I nod.  
“I think we need to help you control it by yourself and I’ve got two ideas about how to do that. Would you like to try them?” She asks.

I nod again, starting to feel hopeful that this self-assured lady could actually help me. I mean, she believes me, and wants to help, but isn’t pushy about it. She doesn’t push me away because I have the ability to hear what she’s thinking.  
_How often do you find someone like that, Juliet? _I think with a smile.__

__She obviously takes the smile as a yes because she continues. “I have a friend who has similar powers; we can talk to her, and like I said before, I think we can discuss some strategies to help you cope when you’re in a situation where there’s lots of people.”_ _

__“Ok, that sounds good.” I say. I wonder who the friend is, does that mean there are more people who are like me?_ _

__“Right, well, I’ll give her a call, and ask if we can go over for dinner. You haven’t eaten, right? You must be hungry by now. Oops” Caitlin says with wide eyes._ _

__Just as she said it, the rumble in my stomach made itself apparent and my cheeks turn pink._ _

__“Yeah, now you mention it, I guess I am.”_ _

__ <><><><><><><>_ _

__Twenty minutes later, we knock on a door to a fairly big green painted house with a small porch with white wooden railings. A big front window glowing with a light and warmth that spills onto the street adorns the wall adjacent to the entrance. I glance through to see a lively living area of couches ringing a TV and a woman holding a baby on her lap.  
The door opens and the light shines into our faces._ _

__“Hey Caitlin, Juliet, nice to have you over. Come on in.” Joe West smiles at us and steps aside so we can enter his home._ _

__“Joe West can read people’s minds?” I whisper to Caitlin as we cross the threshold.  
Raising his eyebrow at Caitlin, but addressing me, Joe answers, “No, but my wife can. Is this the real reason for your visit?”_ _

__I blush and look at the floor. Oops, busted, I think._ _

__“Well, that and for the pleasure of your company.” Caitlin smiles, unabashed and with a twinkle in her eye._ _

__Joe smiles back and shuts the door to the cold night. “Let’s have dinner, and then talk.” He says with a chuckle._ _

__The food was delicious and ‘Grandma Esther’s Lasagne’ was definitely worth the trip, even if we never got to talk to Joe’s mind-reading wife, Cecile. Even though it was a small group, I still found it difficult not to eavesdrop on everyone, and still occasionally caught snatches. The food seemed to help improve my focus, but that was partly because my attention was fully focussed on it, rather than an actual property._ _

__Great, so I just needed to become a compulsive eater and all my problems will- _“…I need to check on Jenna in a min-” _I cringed and fingered the ipod in my pocket, trying to block it out.___ _

____Focus on the conversation, Juliet. I reprimanded myself, and quickly tuned back in._ _ _ _

____“…It’s like we can’t seem to catch a break,” Caitlin was saying, “Because as soon as we defeated Savitar, DeVoe showed up and I know we’ll bring him to justice but afterwards, it’s probably only a matter of time before some other crazy meta shows up trying to destroy the world.” Looking at the frowning faces around the table, she smiled sadly and added, “Sorry, I’m not usually such a pessimist. I guess the situation with Killer Frost just really...” she trails off and no one says anything for several seconds. I want to ask about Killer Frost, but I’m not sure it’s the best subject to raise at the moment._ _ _ _

____Cecile jumps into the break instead. “So, what have you two come to see us for? I assume it’s not just for lasagne.”_ _ _ _

____“No, Juliet here is having trouble with her powers and I thought you might be able to help, having some experience in the area.” Caitlin replies, seeming to have got over her bout of pessimism._ _ _ _

____“I’m assuming you don’t mean motherhood.” Cecile says with raised brows and a smirk._ _ _ _

____“No,” Caitlin smiles, “I mean telepathy.”_ _ _ _

____“Ah, yes, anything specific?” Cecile says, brightly looking at me._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, do-” I paused, trying to voice the question, “Do you know how to keep everyone out?” I finish uncertainly. I don’t know this woman and I’m never entirely comfortable around people I haven’t known for very long. When I first met Aunty Lin, she said I was “cagy”. I guess I just get nervous because I don’t know how they’ll react._ _ _ _

____She’s silent for a second, thinking, and I realised that I had hoped she knew all the answers. I discarded the notion as ridiculous, but the flicker of hope remained.  
“How about we move to the couch?” _ _ _ _

____ <><><><><><>_ _ _ _

____Cecile didn’t actually have much to say. *_ _ _ _

____Even though she and I have similar powers, her range was a lot smaller than mine; she was limited to the house, whereas I, as we discovered after an experiment, could sense someone thinking at the other end of the street. Although this meant we discovered that my ability to block people out increased with distance.  
Eventually, we decided to try Caitlin’s second suggestion._ _ _ _

____“From what you’re describing, what you’re going through reminds me of children who are hypersensitive to sound. Using that as a foundation, I think I’ve come up with three ways to make blocking people’s thoughts easier for you.” Caitlin started, “One, you need to mentally prepare when you know you’re going to a place with lots of people. You can’t underestimate the power of foresight.”_ _ _ _

____“I kind of already do that though,” I say doubtfully, thinking of the times I’ve taken the worn stairs down into the train platform, bracing for the inevitable storm of voices._ _ _ _

____“Yes, but do you have a plan for what you’ll do in the situation beforehand? It’s easier to think clearly when you’re not about to lose control.”_ _ _ _

____“What’s your plan then?” I ask curiously._ _ _ _

____“Affirmation, exit strategy, and lastly, you create a mental wall between your mind and theirs.” Caitlin said, gesturing with her hands insistently._ _ _ _

____“Mental wall?” I say uncertainly, “How do I do that?”_ _ _ _

____“Close your eyes,” Caitlin said confidently, so I closed them, “and imagine a wall.”  
“What type of wall?”_ _ _ _

____“Any type you want, brick, concrete, wood, whatever you feel like, just focus your attention on it.”_ _ _ _

____A red brick city wall rose up in my mind’s eye and, when I focussed, I could see the grey lines of grout and cracked clay bricks._ _ _ _

____I nodded, indicating to Caitlin that I could see it._ _ _ _

____“Now, without losing focus on the wall, open your eyes,” Nervously, I do. “and all the thoughts you hear around you that aren’t yours, put them on the other side.”_ _ _ _

____Frowning, I imagine that I’ve taken a single brick out of the wall. I hear all the voices around me without listening, and then, suck them out through the hole and into space. I place the brick back, and using imaginary superglue, glue the brick back into place._ _ _ _

____“Done.” I say triumphantly._ _ _ _

____“Now all you have to do is let the back of your mind focus on the wall, and you won’t hear everyone’s thoughts.” Caitlin says with a smile._ _ _ _

____I do as she says, keeping half my brain focussed on the wall, and an incredulous smile spreads across my face. “Wait. Will that work?”_ _ _ _

____"Of course!" Caitlin says confidently, and I begin to smile for real. Because all the voices just disappeared, as if I'd switched off my ipod and the music was gone._ _ _ _

____"I guess it did!" I grin._ _ _ _

____Caitlin smiles back and Cecile joins in. “Well, now that’s sorted, I’ve got a baby to get back to. I assume I’ll see you around?” She directed the last at me._ _ _ _

____“Uh, sure?” I said, looking questioningly at Caitlin._ _ _ _

____“Of course!” She smiles back at me, and then Cecile, “But for now I’d better drop Juliet home; it’s almost ten o’clock.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *As far as I can tell, Cecile never actually learnt to control her powers, only use the mental activity dampener when she started adopting personalities. On top of that, I don’t think her powers are as powerful (powerful in a different way) as Juliet’s. Plus, Cecile is a grown adult who would’ve been able to cope with filtering mental stimulus like we would ambient noise much better than the average sixteen-year-old who has told herself that she simply can't for years. Tell me if you think I’m wrong or have any ideas on the subject, but this was my logic.


	11. Explanations

When I get home, Ms Lin is waiting on the couch, her arms crossed and eyes looking over her glasses.  
Looking at the ground, I try and escape up the stairs before she demands an explanation, but I could tell it wasn’t going to work.

“Juliet Mason, you come here right now.”

_Great Caesar’s Ghost…. ___

__I obediently walk over to the couch and sink down beside her into the cushions. “Sorry Auntie Lin-” I start to say before she cuts me off._ _

__“Sorry for what? Disappearing without a word? Not telling anyone you were a meta?” She exclaims, waving her arms in the air. “Do you know what happened this morning? I got a phone call from the police that there had been a meta attack at the school! They said they had retrieved most of the kids safely, but they didn’t know where you were! Cara, Oliver and Jimmy are fine- Cara was wagging, thank goodness, and the boys were on an excursion.” She quickly paused for breath and I was going to take the opportunity to get a word in, but instead, sighed and sunk further into the couch. What was I going to say anyway?_ _

__“Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Then I got a phone call from you saying you’re a metahuman and you’re staying with some nice people who could help?! I still can’t believe I said yes to that! But I was so relieved that you were safe, and I guess I wasn’t thinking straight.”_ _

__“But Aunty Lin, they really can help- they have been helping me!” I say, affronted at the thought that my new friends aren’t trustworthy._ _

__“I don’t know that! I’ve never met them! And-” I finally decide to cut her off._ _

__“I know you don’t, but you’ve got to trust me; they’re good people. Do you want to know what happened to me today? I went to school and-and-” I hesitate, not wanting to reveal my powers._ _

__“And what?” Aunty Lin, suddenly calmer and looking more concerned._ _

__“It was me!” I cry, hanging my head, “I was the meta who-who-” I whispered, but couldn’t finish._ _

__“Oh, baby girl,” Aunty Lin says, features immediately softening, enveloping me in a bear hug as I start to sob, “it’s ok, everything’s going to be ok.”_ _

__Eventually when I’m coherent enough to speak, she asks softly, “So what happened? I never knew you were a meta…”_ _

__“I-” I take a breath, “I can read people’s minds. And make them see things I guess.”  
She looks at me in surprise but says nothing._ _

__“I don’t want to hear them!” I say, “But sometimes I can’t help it and when there’s lots of people and everything’s too loud-” I take another breath; trying to keep calm._ _

__“I just-I just didn’t even know I could do that! A teacher was upset because a lot of assignments are overdue, and I had my earbuds in.”_ _

__Understanding crossed Aunty Lin’s face, “So that’s why you wear those earbuds all the time- so you don’t have to hear everyone’s thoughts.”_ _

__“Yes.” I say softly._ _

__She squeezes me into another hug, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! If I did, I could’ve helped.”_ _

__“It’s a bit out of your expertise, Aunty,” I said with a weak smile, “but there are some really smart people helping me who know what they’re doing.”_ _

__“Fine, you can go with them tomorrow, but I have to meet them first!” She says resignedly._ _

__“Sure, Caitlin said she’d pick me up tomorrow morning. You can meet her then.” I said with a relieved smile._ _

__Going upstairs, I got changed and put my ipod on, but I must’ve lost my earbuds somewhere because they weren’t attached. The music I used to lull me to sleep didn’t need to be as loud as my other stuff- it was comprised of soft piano lullabies and gentle classical guitar.  
Closing my eyes, I drifted off quickly._ _


	12. Caffeine Dependency

Tomorrow morning had me sitting with Caitlin in a little coffee shop called Jitters, sipping an iced chai latte and trying not to let my brain explode. 

“Why did you convince me this was a good idea?!” I hiss at her distractedly; half my brain is focussing on the wall.

“You needed practise, and I needed coffee, it was a logical step.” She defends, taking a sip of her flat white.

“What’s logical about taking a struggling telepath to a busy coffee shop and risking the mental stability of everyone else here?!” I say with a scowl.

“I trust you, and you haven’t made anyone hallucinate anything since yesterday.” She says with a reassuring smile.

I’d left the house this morning, but Aunty had been so busy trying to get everyone to school that the promised conversation she’d had with Caitlin to determine her trustworthiness was a bit hurried, so she decided that they could have a more in-depth discussion this evening.

I sigh and turn my attention back to my drink, but still continued the conversation. “Yesterday, you said you had more than one strategy, what were the others?”

“Well, I said, ‘always have an escape route planned’ and I think that’s a good idea. When I first discovered Kille-my powers, I used meta dampening tech in a bracelet. We could-”

“What? You mean you could’ve just given me something that would turn off my powers and you didn’t?!” I exclaim, remembering at the last minute to keep half my focus on the mental wall.

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that-” She started, but I didn’t let her finish.

“I wouldn’t have had to do all this-” 

She cut me off, regaining control of the conversation, “You have to learn how to control your powers! It would’ve been pointless to have just given you a power dampener because you would’ve relied on it too much. You relied on the music before, and how did that work out?”  
I fall silent. She has a point.

“You ended up scaring a lot of people,” she says, not unkindly, “So, I’m going to help you control it, as well as having a backup strategy when you can’t. There aren’t any short cuts.”

“Sorry,” I say quietly and take another sip of my drink.

“It’s alright.” She says with a smile, “I had to learn all this the hard way, so I guess I’m just eager to save you the trouble.”  
The bright and open space echoes with the talk of a city crowd. If I let down my guard a little, I can feel the bubbling muddle of thoughts mix with the audible conversation. 

The inner and exterior monologues of baristas, customers and everyone in-between flowed in a synchronised movement like a river.   
I may not be an empath like Cecile, but thoughts have as much tone and emotion as voices and I could pick out the mood of the room. It was full of good vibes and I smiled. Then I realised that I wasn’t actually hearing their thoughts, just sensing them, like when you go to a shopping centre and you can hear all the people around you without actually listening. A bigger grin lit up my face. Despite what I said earlier, I’m really glad I learnt how to control my abilities. Maybe they’re not such a curse after all?

“Caitlin!” A voice startled me out of my thoughts.

“Ralph, how are you?” Caitlin replied cheerfully.

“Great! Yesterday I went to-” He stopped, and looked at me, “Who’s this?”

“This is Juliet, she’s a friend I’m helping out.”

“Ok, that’s cool,” he pauses uncertainly, looking from me to Caitlyn and back again, “could I talk to Cait for a minute?” 

“Sure,” I say, and walk a few steps away. As I do, I hear him say, “Barry needs you at S.T.A.R. Labs. For, you know, Flash stuff…” he finishes meaningfully.

“Ok, let’s go.” She pauses and calls out to me, “Juliet, we need to go.” 

I walk over, grabbing my drink off the table, and ask, “Am I coming or…?”

“Of course!” She says with a smile, “I wouldn’t abandon you here without a ride.”  
Ralph throws a surprised glance my way but says nothing.

As we drive away in the car, Ralph throws up his arms. “Oh no, I forgot the coffee!”

“What?” Caitlin questions.

“The coffee! They sent me to find you in person because they all wanted coffee! Now Cisco’s going to be mad at me.” Ralph said, exasperated.

“And you think I have a dependency,” I say quietly, not intending to be heard, while fingering my ipod.

“It’s true, Team Flash probably would fall apart without their coffee.” Caitlin admitted in good humour, obviously having heard my remark.  
My ears turn pink, and my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“Coffee is incredibly useful!” Ralph protested, “I’ve solved many a case with only five cups of coffee, an all nighter, and some mere scraps of evidence.”

“Using it on occasion is one thing, but with the amounts we drink, I’m surprised most of us don’t exhibit the side effects of excessive caffeine usage.” Caitlin argues as we park in the staff car park for S.T.A.R. Labs.

<><><><><><><><>

We walk into the cortex where everyone seems to be clustered around the desk. Tapping keys and glowing screens are being hurriedly adjusted and Iris and Cisco keep taking turns talking into a microphone.

“If you can’t get close, try throwing stuff at him!” Cisco exclaimed into it and, to my surprise, Barry’s voice spoke back. 

“There isn’t anything to throw! You guys were the ones who suggested we lure him into an open field!”

“We needed to get him away from the city.” Iris responded calmly, “What about…”

I tuned out, looking at the monitors which were displaying Barry’s vitals. The line indicating a spiking heartbeat was the only thing I recognised, but it was enough to give me an idea what the other numbers and lines might’ve been for.

“Gottim,” Barry’s breathless voice came out of the speaker and everyone in the room let out an audible sigh of relief.

“Good job,” Iris said into the microphone, then rocked back on her heels. Speaking to the rest of us, she smiled a tired smile, “Well, I better get back to work and meet some deadlines. Ralph, where’s that coffee?”

“Ah, yes, about that,” Ralph started awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Please,” Cisco began, eyes closed and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, “please, please, tell me you remembered to get the coffee.”

“Sorry, I didn’t?” Ralph tried, flinching pre-emptively.

I let loose a quiet giggle and looked sideways to Caitlin. We shared a silent laugh, eyes shining  
Maybe losing control hadn’t been so bad. I had gained so much.  
Control, and with it, peace of mind. I didn’t have to live in constant worry anymore.   
And I think, maybe, I had gained a friend.


	13. Plans

Once we were back at home, Caitlin worked out an arrangement with Aunty Lin. 

“So, we’ve agreed she can spend the next few Saturday afternoons with us at S.T.A.R. Labs until she’s confident she can control her powers?” Caitlin confirmed.

“Yes, that sounds fine to me,” Aunty Lin said with a small smile, “I’m so glad she found some people who can help her. I had no idea she was going through this.”

I was eavesdropping from the top of the stairs, hands squeezing the bars beneath the banisters.  
“Before this, she was so closed off and quiet,” Aunty admitted, “I didn’t know what to do to help her get out of her shell. She was behind in school and her teachers said they didn’t think she had any friends. I figured it was her past experiences in her previous family, but even after the small amount of time you’ve spent with her, she’s seemed to open up so much more. Thank you.”

I cringed, remembering the saying ‘eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves’. I hope Aunty Lin doesn’t say anything else about me. Everyone at S.T.A.R. Labs is so smart and talented; I just didn’t want them thinking I was stupid because I hadn’t been doing well at school. Or that I was anything like my dad.

I figured I had two options: intervening and cutting off that topic of conversation or going back into my room and hoping she wouldn’t bring it up again. A few days ago, I would probably have chosen to go to my room. It was too much effort to withstand their mental onslaught and try and derail the topic of conversation. Better to just leave it be. Easier to just sit and hope. Today, I decided I would choose something new. I wanted to be a part of my life? I should go and do it.  
I didn’t have my lack of control holding me back, so why not?

I descended the stairs.

“You finished interrogating Caitlin, Aunty?” I said with a smile. It was easier to smile when you weren’t worried all the time. It made me feel younger, or lighter maybe, like before I had my powers.

“Yes, she’ll give me regular updates about what’s going on, and you can go to S.T.A.R. Labs on Saturday afternoons.” Aunty Lin looked stern, but kind, and a bit tired. The last few days of craziness had probably taken a bit of a toll on her.

“Thanks Aunty Lin,” I smiled, and gave her a quick hug.

We said goodbye to Caitlin, and I wandered back up the stairs to my bedroom. I used to share with my foster-sister Cara, but she had wanted her own space and I was in no position to object at the time. Getting to sleep with someone else’s thoughts in your head is not easy, let me tell you.  
Cara slammed the door to her room, looking annoyed, and stalked towards the stairs with her phone in her hand. While I spent my limited pocket money on music, Cara had a job, and a smart phone. 

“Move, freak.” She frowned at me and waved her hands in a shooing motion, then she paused, “Wait, weren’t you missing? Aunty Lin was really worried about you. You shouldn’t do that.”

Cara was really complicated. And I mean really. One minute, she called you freak and practically ignored you. The next, she was going out of her way to make sure you, or someone else was okay. I don’t think I’ll ever understand her.

“I didn’t mean to worry her,” I apologised in a small voice. Don’t ask me why she makes me feel small, but she does. Not even my new control and confidence could change that.

“Yeah, well, she really cares about us, right? Like really. You shouldn’t ever waste that.” Then she stalked past me, already switching her glare to the phone in her hands.

“I know,” I said, but she was already gone.

The boy’s room was a little further down the hallway and I heard the sounds of a nerf war in progress. Air pressured ‘pops’ sounded from inside, as well as some overly dramatic war cries. Smiling, I walked past and to the end of the hall. I dumped my ipod on my small desk and thought, I didn’t need to use them at all today.  
Smiling a little wider, I flopped onto my bed.


	14. Juliet vs The World, Round 2

I wake up to a delicious silence.

Rolling over, I smile, before realising that today is Friday and Aunty said I had to go to school. I groan and slump out of bed, I’m toast; there’s no way I’m making it through today alive. They probably all knew it was me when I had to cure them of their worst fears. Cringing, I grabbed a clean uniform and headed to the bathroom.

Good, Cara hasn’t woken up yet.  
I slip into the white tiled room and lock the door. I would be awful for one of the boys to walk in on me.  
Shower, dress, smile into the mirror and tell myself I can do this.  
I can.  
Can’t I?

Eat breakfast, get an encouraging smile from Aunty, make lunch, walk out the door.  
Surprisingly, Cara is taking the train today. She walks beside me in silence, her earbuds in and looking anywhere but where I am.  
Like I said, complicated. I have absolutely no clue what’s going on in her head right now.

_But you could, a little voice whispered, just make a gap in the wall and have a listen. There’s no one else around to distract you so you won’t get overwhelmed… ___

__I shake my head with a frown. No! It’s a HUGE violation of privacy. I couldn’t do that to her.  
I don’t have time to do anything else because the steps to the station yawn beneath me. I shiver involuntarily, staring into that echoing abyss.  
I take a deep breath and follow after the rapidly disappearing Cara. I focus on building up my wall; the red bricks are so much easier to visualise here in the city. It protects and shields my mind. I can do this.  
And I do._ _

__The train is silent except for the clacking bumps of the rails beneath us. I can’t hear anyone’s thoughts, and nobody speaks except for the robotic lady over the loudspeaker. For once, I don’t have to worry about missing my stop because there is no competing noise._ _

__“Next stop: East Bridge Station”_ _

__We get up and wait at the doors. When they open, I walk calmly out into the open air of the platform, exultant in the freedom I feel in even this small act. Grinning, I almost skip the rest of the way to school._ _

__Cara looks sidelong at me for the first time since we left home.  
“Is there something wrong with your face?” She asks suspiciously._ _

__“What do you mean?” I respond cheerfully. Not even Cara can get me down today._ _

__“You’re smiling, no, grinning,” She said thoughtfully with a funny look on her face, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that.”_ _

__“I feel free,” I admit, a little intimidated by her bluntness._ _

__“Humph,” She harrumphed, and then left for the motley crowd she called friends. Or did she? She hung out with them, sure, but I’d never heard her call them friends. I shook my head and thought, you’ve got problems enough of your own, Juliet, let it be._ _

__The rest of the day seemed to go pretty well, and I was especially enjoying actually listening to my Psychology class rather than having to read the textbook and class notes at home. However, things got a bit awkward in English._ _

__As it turns out, the police had tried to keep quiet the identity of the student who’d caused all the trouble on Wednesday, but everyone in my English class already knew. Furthermore, because of my little freak out, Mr Kliff hadn’t recovered yet either and we had a substitute.  
I was braced for hostility, but I didn’t expect fear._ _

__Muttered comments, wide eyes and nervous glances told me that they all knew I was a meta. I sunk lower in my chair near the door.  
No one wanted to sit near me, not that anyone normally sat next to me anyway, but they took it to a whole new level. No sat behind me, or next to me, or in front of me. It was like they were creating a barrier of empty seats around me._ _

__The only one who didn’t seem affected was Bronwyn Jones. He scowled and sat in the corner as usual. Now I thought about it, he had been out of the room at the time. He seemed especially sullen today, and I wondered what was on his mind.  
Even the substitute teacher seemed to walk on tiptoes around me. She’d obviously been briefed by someone._ _

__I’d like to say it didn’t affect me, but it did. I think my face was pink the entire time. Maybe one day I’ll work up the courage to apologise to all of them._ _

__ <><><><><><><><><><>_ _

__After school, the assistant principal walked up to me and took me to the office.  
“The school has had a discussion with your guardian and the police. We will take you until the end of the year on the proviso that you don’t pull a stunt like you pulled on Wednesday again.”_ _

__“What?” I say, confused, “You were going to expel me?” I guess that makes sense; I did freak out and cause most of the school to hallucinate their worst fears._ _

__She frowned, arranging some paperwork as we talked, “You caused a panic and we’ve had parents asking to pull their children out of the school. On top of that, we’re just not equipped to deal with your-” she paused, obviously trying to find a polite way to put it, “-special needs.”_ _

__“You mean the fact that I’m a meta.” I say flatly, already wanting to leave. I remembered dispelling her illusion as she slept a drug-induced sleep in S.T.A.R. Labs. Her worst fear was being alone. I wondered if the parent’s complaints had anything to do with her response to the ‘problem’ I posed to the school._ _

__“Yes,” She admitted with slight defiance, but still not looking me in the eye. “If something goes wrong, we just don’t feel equipped to deal with it.”_ _

__“Deal with me, you mean.” I clarify quietly. I almost wished I’d kept my mouth shut. Then I shrugged it off, why should I be worried? She was probably more afraid of me than visa versa._ _

__She doesn’t respond and continues to shuffle her excessively organised papers.  
A few seconds later, I leave since the meeting was obviously over.  
There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach, but no issues on the journey home._ _


	15. One-All

Saturday!

I don’t think I’ve ever got ready so fast. Until I realised that I was spending Saturday afternoon at S.T.A.R. Labs, not the morning.  
Fiddlesticks.

Normally, I would spend Saturday hiding in my room watching T.V. or playing my old, beaten up guitar. She was a nice acoustic with a beautiful warm sound and though I used to prefer my earbuds outside, at home I preferred to make my music live. 

I didn’t need the music for survival purposes anymore, but I still love to play my guitar. So, that’s basically how I spent the morning.   
An hour after lunch, Caitlin pulled up in her car. I eagerly shoved the cheap phone Aunty had equipped me with yesterday evening into my pocket and walked out to meet her. I hopped in the passenger side and we left.

“How did school go?” She asked, eyebrows raised.

“Not too bad. There weren’t any freak outs.” I informed her while fiddling with the edge of my shirt, suddenly nervous.

“That’s great! So, the wall worked?”

“Yep. It was perfect.” I said, sending her a small smile, “Thanks, by the way.”

“No worries, I’m glad you got it under control.”

<><><><><><><><><>

When we got to S.T.A.R. Labs, it was mostly deserted apart from Caitlin and Cisco, who was apparently in his lab.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, confused. For some reason I had thought that Barry, Ralph, Iris and Joe hung out here all the time.

“Well, Barry’s a CSI, and Joe’s a cop, Iris is probably writing at Jitters, and Ralph is a PI. Cisco gets paid as a Tech Consultant at CCPD but it’s really a casual thing, so we mostly work here at S.T.A.R. Labs.” She explains, flicking on the lights in the med bay in the cortex I hadn’t noticed.

“So, what are we doing?” I asked, eyeing the medical instruments with doubt.

“First, I’m going to do some scans on your brain and a blood test to double check that your powers are purely mental. Then, I think Cisco will be finished. After that, we’ve organised Mr Kliff to come in so you can reverse what you did you his brain.”

I cringed at the mention of my English teacher, but decided I’d think about that later.

<><><><><><><><><>

Two scans and one blood test later, I was sitting on a tilted chair like they have in dentists’ offices.

“Just sit there for a bit until you feel better; I don’t want you fainting on me!” Caitlin said with a smile. She was obviously in her element here in the med bay and her confidence and cheerfulness seemed to be rubbing off on me.

“I am not going to faint. That would be really embarrassing.”

“Believe it or not, you wouldn’t be the first person to faint at the sight of their own blood.” She smiles mischievously, and I hear someone enter the cortex.

“You are NOT telling that story!” Cisco exclaims, “Or so help me, Snow, I will have revenge, and you’ll never see it coming!”

Caitlin snorts, “What are you going to do? Vibe my lab equipment?”

“I am the genius, Cisco Ramon and-” Here he stops to think for a few seconds, then a wicked grin comes over his face, “-I don’t need to vibe anything. I can get you to keep your mouth shut with two. Simple. Words.”

“What could you possible say that-” She starts, but Cisco interrupts.

“You forget, that you are my best friend, and I know some of your most embarrassing moments. Wait for it-” Cisco pauses dramatically his smile stretching like the Cheshire cat and says, “Summer Lovin-”

“No!” Caitlin shrieks, her face turning pink, then regains her composure, “I mean, have you finished that thing I asked for?”

“Can Dumbo fly? Can Mad Max drive? Of course I did!” Cisco asks cheerfully, producing a bracelet with a glowing blue bead. “I present to you, the Meta-cuff 2.0, now in a fashionable and fully removable design.”

Quickly looking at Caitlin for confirmation, I take the proffered bracelet. It’s thin, more like a bangle, and is made out of what looks like smooth stainless steel. I hesitantly slide it onto my wrist.

“Go on, test it out,” Cisco encourages, obviously eager to prove his creation’s worth.

I do, slowly letting my mental wall disappear and reaching out for their open, undefended minds. Except I hit another wall. And this one seems to be made of titanium.

“Woah,” I mutter, eyebrows raised in surprise. I turn my wide eyes on Cisco, “Thanks! This is amazing.”

“No problemo,” He says, “De nada, estoy asombroso. And hey, this baby will stop you from causing any future problems.”

I smile, but inside I shrink a little. I don’t want to be the “causer of problems”. I don’t want to be someone to be feared. I just want to be Juliet.

“By the way, we are discussing how you knew about that story after. You weren’t even there!” Caitlin hisses at Cisco.

“You’re just upset I evened the score! Caitlin 1, Cisco 1.” Cisco said smugly.

“I swear, if Barry told you anything…” Caitlin begins, and I smile, soaking up the friendly atmosphere.


	16. How To Be A Hero

Later in the afternoon, after having finished my medical tests with Caitlin, I see Barry in the speed lab. Stopping in my tracks to watch, I see a blur of red lightning darting around and around.

Quietly letting myself in, I sit down, silently watching the pretty colour.  
It’s surprisingly cathartic and I find myself getting lost in thought.  
Why does Barry choose to be a hero?  
What drives him to not only want to control his powers, but use them to try and help others? I’ve seen the news reports – he doesn’t always completely succeed - but he keeps trying. Maybe he feels guilty for messing up sometimes and all the saving people is to make up for it?  
I think I’d be too scared. I’d be too worried I’d make a mistake. 

Eventually, I noticed that the red lighting had disappeared. Startled, I looked up, and there he was.  
The Fastest Man Alive.

“What’s up?” He asked, casually leaning against the wall in his sweats, “Did you need me for anything?”

“O-oh, no,” I stammer, feeling sorry to interrupt him, “I was just watching. Your speed makes such a pretty colour.” I add shyly.

Coming to sit down beside me, the brown-haired CSI smiles, “I wouldn’t know since it’s hard to look at it when I’m focused on running, but I’m told it looks like red lightning.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” I say awkwardly, “I guess that’s why they call you The Scarlett Speedster.”

“Mmm…” The Flash says articulately.

We lapse into an awkward silence.

“How do you do it?” I finally burst out, my former thoughts coming back to me.

“How do I do what?” He asks, looking up, obviously coming back from his own thoughts.

“Save people, talk down bad metas, I don’t know-?” I end uncertainly, “Be the Flash, I guess. It’s just, it sounds so scary and stressful and you have to make decisions that sometimes mean life and death. You take on so much responsibility and-and- the other day,” I take a breath. “The other day when I made you see your worst fear. It was horrible, but you just walked it off. And even before I fixed it, you were just walking around like normal. Everyone else freaked out and was terrified of me but you just, I don’t know, you were just so calm?” I finished lamely, hoping he understood what I meant, and I hadn’t just made a fool of myself.

He pauses, thinking about how to respond, and then says, “I guess I just have to be brave. Because I’m not really doing it for me, I’m doing it for everyone else. When I was little, I-there was a family tragedy and my mum died. I don’t want anything like that to happen to anyone else ever again if I can help it.”

I got the feeling there was more to the story than he was saying, but I think I understood his answer.  
So, you can’t do it well unless you were doing it for someone else.  
I wonder if there’s anyone I would put my life on the line for. Anyone I would risk everything for.

“Does that answer your question?” He asks.

“Yes,” I say slowly, “so do you think anyone could be a hero?”

“Sure,” he said, the smile slipping easily back onto his face, “anyone. Doesn’t matter if you’ve got powers or not.” Then his sense of responsibility seemed to come back to him like a hammer, bringing a sense of alarm onto his face, “But I don’t think looking for dangerous situations is a good idea, and you probably should wait until you’re older if you want to be a superhero – it’s really dangerous and people really die. It’s not a game.”

“No, I know. That wasn’t what I was thinking about.” I reassure him, amused that he thought I would try and take on a villain, right after I’d almost been labelled one myself.

“Good.” He says, looking relieved that he hadn’t inspired a minor into living the life of a vigilante superhero.

About an hour before Caitlin had to take me home, they brought Mr Kliff back to S.T.A.R. Labs. I took a deep breath before entering the room and tried to be brave.

It’s not about me – it’s about him. I did this and now I need to fix it.  
I walked in.

Apparently, the teacher had been sedated, but he still looked half crazed with his greying hair sticking up in all directions and wild, bloodshot eyes. I tried to avoid making eye contact, but it was hard when I could feel his eyes drilling into me.

This time, he was silent, but I felt the weight of his accusations as heavy as if he had placed a milestone around my neck. The room was almost empty apart from Caitlin, the Flash and Mr Kliff.

“Okay, let’s try this again, shall we?” Barry commented seriously in a voice that sounded like he’d spoken from behind a fan.

I nod, walking forward, trying not to think about what I might hear.  
Then I take off my new bracelet.

“Not supposed to speak?! How ridiculous! I should be allowed to complain to the girl who made me see nightmares!” 

I take a breath, and exhale slowly.  
_Let’s just get this over with, Juliet. Don’t listen. ___

__Just don’t listen.  
It seemed to be the thing I had been telling myself since I was twelve.  
‘Don’t listen, just don’t listen to them Juliet’ Seemed to be my constant mantra.  
Don’t listen to your parent’s argument - it’s too painful.  
Don’t listen to the social worker – she always misunderstands.  
Don’t listen to the schoolteacher – if you do, you’ll let everyone else in.  
But this time, maybe I needed to try a different approach? Maybe I should try something new.  
Cautiously, tentatively, ready at any moment to bring up my barriers, I listened.  
And I heard something._ _

__“I’ve been seeing this for four days! When will it end? I don’t want to run from my childhood fears anymore.”_ _

___He was afraid. ____ _

____And I guess that sometimes makes people angry. I know it made my dad hide behind his bottle. Apparently, it made some people crack jokes. And it made Mr Kliff lash out.  
_I wonder what he’s afraid of? _I thought.___ _ _ _

______I closed my eyes and delved deeper, but after brushing a memory, I paused to watch.  
A boy in green pyjamas who refused to turn his lamp off. “But there could be something in the dark! And if I turn my light off it will come and get me!” “Don’t be silly – it’s just the dark. There’s nothing hiding in it.” “But I’m scared!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was an irrational fear.  
I knew it.  
He knew it.  
I knew he knew it._ _ _ _ _ _

______But sometimes irrational fears have too much power over us. We let it control us until it becomes out of our control. Maybe he just needed someone to show him the stars. Or some understanding. One thing was certain, I couldn’t approach it in the same way the other person in his memories had.  
"What’s in the dark?" I asked him, and his mind reeled in shock._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you mean, what’s in the dark? Why are you in my head?!” He replied, silent and angry._ _ _ _ _ _

_______"I need to be here to fix it. Sorry for the intrusion." I apologised, trying to make him understand.__ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fine, let’s get this over with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________"What’s in the dark?" I ask again.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s an old childhood fear of mine – that there were monsters in the dark, waiting to get me the moment I shut my eyes or couldn’t see.” He sounded reluctant, but ready end his nightmare._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I look for his recent memories, only to see a wave of darkness sweeping across every landscape he finds himself in. First, the classroom, then the school, then the streets, then the city._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________"Oh, so that’s why you were driving like that. You were trying to out-run it." ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I racked my brains to think of something to prove his fear wasn’t real and force his deceived brain into thinking clearly and logically. Finally, an idea came._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________"Close your eyes," I told him mentally, and his refusal was quick and uncompromising. _Please, it’ll show your brain that it’s not real." When that didn’t work, I tried to explain.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________"You have to be brave and stop letting the fear have power over you. You can’t keep living in fear, always choosing to be a slave to your imagination. Don’t you want to stop being afraid? You have to try. It’ll get better – I promise. Nothing will happen. It’s all an illusion. You know that. Now please, please, close your eyes." ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________I opened my own eyes and watched him slowly close his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Nothing happened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Nothing happened on the surface._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________But when I looked into his mind, the illusion was gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________And I think the fear went with it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	17. Ice-Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting.  
> (TW: gun)

A few days later, Aunty Lin sent me and Cara to the corner store to buy some milk and a dessert of our choice for tonight’s dinner.

We were walking down the dreary sidewalk and, for once, Cara didn’t have her phone. Further, I realised I didn’t have my earphones in. 

Not that it makes much of a difference, I reflected, since we’re both acting the same as we would be even with our electronics.

Silently, I shot a few glances her way, but her boots determinedly marched forward with a disinterested pace, and her face betrayed uninterest in anything and everything. Quietly, I wondered what mood she was actually in. It was hard to tell, and I wanted to be prepared if she decided it was a ‘freak’ day instead of a ‘cold shoulder’ day. 

Suddenly, I decided. Why should I be wary of her mood? That’s her business. If she wants to be unfriendly, that’s her problem.

I matched her stride, marching on as if I were unconcerned also. It felt good. Normally, I tried not to be noticed, to be talked to or distracted from the task of keeping control. Now, it didn’t matter if people noticed me or not.  
The dirty city streets passed beneath my battered sneakers and her clunky boots quickly, and soon we had arrived at the corner store.

Quickly grabbing the milk, I asked Cara what dessert she wanted. I was partial to the vanilla ice-creams which were covered in a shell of raspberry-flavoured icy pole. But I was feeling generous, and Cara had good taste in dessert anyway.

“I don’t really care; pick what you want.” She said shortly, obviously unbothered. She blew a stray hair out of her face and back into the chin-length hair-do she redyed a sullen black every few months. She looked more grumpy than usual, and I decided to let it go, shrugging and heading towards the freezers. She headed towards the counter, obviously intending to start the process of paying.

I had just taken the ice-creams I wanted out of the freezer when I heard a raised voice.

“Everyone on the ground! I have a gun, so don’t try anything!”

I froze, still reaching into the freezer and my heart filled with dread.  
Quietly leaving the ice-creams and closing the freezer, I crouched down, making myself as small a target as possible. Fear seemed to loom as tall as the shelves that hid me.

Suddenly, I heard a yelp, and then a familiar voice.  
Cara  
“Please, you don’t need to do anything, just take what you want and go.” The voice was familiar, but the tone was not. Cara sounded scared, and that was something I didn’t want to think about. 

Crawling forward, I made it to the end of the aisle and peeked out at the scene in front of the counter. An involuntary shiver ran down me as I passed soft over the cold tiles.

Cara was on the ground as well as a few others who’d been at the front of the store when the robber attacked. The man himself didn’t actually look very manly, more like a very tall boy. He wore a black ski mask, a black hoody and khaki pants, but what drew my eye was the small handgun he carried in his left hand. It sent a shiver down my spine, but what actually worried me was Cara’s proximity to the whole thing. She was right behind him with the other customers on the ground, and people with guns, as everyone knew, were liable to do stupid things.

As much as Cara sometimes confused me, and was rude to me, I don’t actually hate her.

_“I guess I just have to be brave. Because I’m not really doing it for me, I’m doing it for everyone else.”_ Barry’s words came back to me. 

I want to be brave.


	18. Be Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to get interesting :)  
> TW: gun

Slipping off my bracelet and ignoring other thoughts in the room, I tried to project my thoughts to Cara like I did with Mr Kliff the other day. I was standing closer to him that time, but I can still do this. Right?

_Cara. Cara? Can you hear me?_

I saw her startle slightly with her back to me, but she didn’t cry out or let anyone know what I was doing.

“Yes, I can hear you. I would normally tell you to get the *** out of my head, but I guess this is an exception.”  
Wincing at her choice of language, I looked up, trying to think of something I could do to help. The gunman and the cashier had begun to argue in raised voices.

“What do you mean you ‘can’t do that?’ What’s so hard about handing over cash?” The robber was exclaiming angrily, waving his hands in the air.

The cashier looked nervous and sweaty, his curly brown hair stuck to his forehead, but stood his ground defiantly. I scowled. The idiot was putting everyone in danger, including himself, and breaching retail protocol. I knew what he was supposed to do; my mother had told me once ages ago when we’d had the discussion about what to do in a situation like this. She’d used to be a retail worker before she left my dad and had been pretty hard-line when it came to rules. The cashier obviously hadn’t been told what to do in the case of an armed robbery.

“I have a gun! I could kill anyone in this room if you don’t do what I say!” the gun-wielding lunatic exclaimed, waving his arms around, but somehow, I felt he was bluffing. It was almost as if this was his first time. But since it was my first time being in a situation like this, it wasn’t like I had a ton of experience.

Someone needed to distract him so someone else could call 911, and the cashier obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. Then an idea sparked.

I took a deep breath.

 _Cara, when I give you the signal, you have to run and call 911, okay?_ I projected.

“What? What are you going to do?” Cara thought at me, the worried tone catching me by surprise.

_Don’t worry about that. You just need to go call the police._

I could sense her reluctance, but I gave her no choice when I got up and stepped out from behind the shelving.

“Just give him the money. Then he’ll go and everyone will be safe.” I hear myself say, though every ounce of me wants to hide in terror. My eyes are glued to the gun and I can’t seem to help imagining what sort of damage he could do with it. Pushing the gruesome images aside, I focus on the task at hand.

Walking slowly with my hands up, I move so that when he faces me, his back is to the door, and therefore Cara’s escape route. Turning to the cashier, I add, “Haven’t you read the retail protocol for a situation like this? I was always told to give them the money, so no one gets killed.”

“Why would I bother reading the manual? It basically states the obvious.” The cashier says nervously. “And it’s obvious to me that my boss’ll kill me if I lose today’s takings.”

“And you’re more scared of your boss than dying?” I say and, in my incredulity, I forget my fear for a second. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cara escaping out the front door with a quiet jingle and breathe a silent sigh of relief.

<><><><>*Cara*<><><><>

As soon as she’s out the glass door, Cara runs for the payphone across the road. The ugly concrete slamming into her heels. Almost tripping on the curb, she scrambles up to the graffiti-covered metal station.

_Stupid phone confiscation. My teacher’s gonna be really sorry if she knew that having it this afternoon might’ve saved someone’s life!_

But she knew she wasn’t really angry about that.

She was really angry at herself. 

She had let her younger foster sister distract the robber who had a gun, then she had run away, leaving her with him. Idiot. Why hadn’t she distracted the kid herself?

Panicked tears began to trickle down her face as she grabbed the payphone out of it’s broken socket and began to dial.

9-1-1-dial, she punched in, trying not to think about what was happening across the road.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“A man with a gun is robbing the Klark’s Basics on the corner of 9th and Leafton.”  
She felt like fear was not just dripping onto her heart but completely soaking it. Like gasoline, she felt that at any moment, she could ignite. Maybe it already had. Cara took a deep breath and tried to be patient.  
This is the best way you can help her now, she thought.

“Was there anyone else in the store?”

“My sister, the cashier and a few others- maybe ten at most?” She said uncertainly.

“And has anyone been hurt?”

Her heart squeezed at that question, praying that it was still the same as when she’d left. She hadn’t heard any gunshots yet, so she was okay. She had to be okay. Juliet was going to be okay.

“Not when I left.” Cara answers with a tightly controlled tone. She’d never been very good at trying to sound nice. She’d never seen the point.

“Thank you, we’re sending a dispatch now. Do not renter the building and wait for police assistance.”  
Then the line went dead.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CLIMAX! :)  
> TW: still gun

“You should listen to her.” The boy said, trying to sound dangerous.

I was certain he was a boy by now. The way he’d let me try to talk to the cashier made it seem like he didn’t know how to take full control of the situation. The way he was holding the gun also made him seem like an amateur. Not pointing at anyone in particular; with the safety, off and gesturing with it instead of holding it to anyone’s head. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this was his first time doing this sort of thing. Maybe he was my age.

I was still terrified.

Who wouldn’t be? But it was worse now Cara had escaped. Before, I had someone to protect, but now, it felt like I was alone.

Glancing at the people still trapped in the shop, I talked sternly to myself; _There are still people who could get hurt, just keep distracting him until Cara brings the police. You can do it, Juliet! ___

__Trying to breathe deeply, I looked back at the maybe-novice criminal and stubborn cashier in their silent standoff in front of me. Then I had an idea._ _

__I have powers, maybe I can use that to help me convince them?  
My bracelet was already off, and all I needed to do was make a hole in my wall. So, I did.  
The masked gunman’s thoughts came first._ _

___“Why isn’t he handing over the money? I have a gun! I need this cash, and I can’t afford to get caught!”_ _ _

__Then the cashier’s mental voice came to join the conversation._ _

___“What if the girl’s right? My life isn’t worth this money! But I need this job…”_ _ _

___“Maybe I need to do something drastic, like a threat? If I threaten to shoot one of the customers, maybe…?”_ _ _

__Distracted, I almost miss the significance of this thought. Then my eyes widen._ _

__“Please,” I say out loud, as I plead with him to show reason, “don’t hurt anyone! Armed robbery is one thing, but if you shoot anyone, that’ll count as assault and that’s guaranteed jail time if you get caught!”_ _

__“What?” the masked boy replies, a hint of guilt evident in his voice, “Why would I shoot anyone unless I don’t get the cash?” Turning a menacing glare on the cashier, he adds, “I am going to get the cash, right?”_ _

__“You won’t lose your job!” I try to explain before he says something everyone will regret, “It’s not the employee’s fault the store got robbed and handing over the cash in the tiller is policy. Please just do it before this gets any worse.”_ _

__Looking reluctant, the curly haired employee opens the tiller and begins taking out notes._ _

__The amateur gunman stands in silence.  
 _“Should I really do this? All these people are scared of me, even Juliet Mason, and apparently, she’s a meta. If I take this money, there’s no going back. But you have to do this, Brynn! You need the money…”__ _

__I blinked, and then swallowed.  
Brynn? Like Bronwyn? Bronwyn Jones from my school is a criminal? But he’s at my school! I mean, he gets in trouble a lot I guess, but I never… Shocked, for a moment, I lose track of the situation in wondering what secrets the rest of the student body at Central City High School could be hiding. I mean, I’m a meta, and he’s a criminal, for all I know, the girl in English could be the Arrow’s sidekick!_ _

__Then reality comes back to me. He’s on the fence, so maybe I can convince him not to do this? Nobody realises it’s him yet, and if he leaves now the police might not catch him. He hasn’t really done anything yet – has he?_ _

__“You don’t have to do this?” I say, but it sounds more like a question._ _

__“What kind of cliché is that?” Bronwyn says to me flatly, “If I didn’t, why would I be here?”_ _

__“Clichés are normally only clichés because they work.” I say logically, trying to sound less shy and quiet than normal, even though I have no clue what to say. I guess I’m just trying to stall so I can think of a better argument. I wish Barry was here. Or Caitlin. Or even Cisco. They would know what to do, or at least have useful power to defeat the baddies before anyone could get hurt. I just hope the police will come soon._ _

__“It doesn’t even matter anyway; you’re wrong. I do have to do this.” Scowling, he adds, “and don’t even think about asking why because it’s none of your business.”_ _

__“Bronwyn, please - ” and that’s when I realise my mistake._ _

___You and your stupid mouth, Juliet. When will you learn to keep it SHUT?_ _ _

__“What. How do you know my name?” His voice runs cold with fear and confusion, but I know the anger is there. Just under the surface, and one wrong move could unleash it._ _

__“I’m sorry, I just thought-” I start, trying to recover the situation, but he cuts me off._ _

__“No, you, you – you’re a meta! What can you do, read people’s minds? I thought the guys at school were joking!”_ _

__I take a breath, but he keeps going, eyes wide and wild, and hands waving. “You can’t know who I am! Then they’ll know, and I can’t, I -” His gestures have become more and more erratic, and suddenly, I am keenly aware of the gun in his left hand._ _

__*Bang!*_ _

__A sound, unlike anything I’ve ever heard rips through the air, and couples with a scream. I think it might be me, but I suddenly can’t think through the pain that suddenly lances through my leg.  
I let out a whimper and sink to the floor._ _

__ <><><>*Cara*<><><>_ _

__Cara, still standing outside, hears a gunshot tear through the air._ _

__Her blood runs cold and, for a minute, she’s frozen._ _

__Then she sprints for the store across the street._ _


	20. Just Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to take a break from our regularly scheduled action to cut to...Cisco!

Cisco spins around aimlessly in his spinning desk chair.

He really shouldn’t have asked Dr Wells (Eubard Thorne in hindsight, or was that before the body snatch? Never mind), for the swivel chairs, but he couldn’t help it. With his flair for dramatics and need to move around to various screens without getting up, it fit. And really, who could resist the Dr Claw Villain chair spin? I’ve been waiting for you Gadget…Now all he needed was a cat to stroke.

Shaking himself out of his spiralling reverie, he looked up to glance over his screens. Frowning, he narrowed his eyes as something caught them. A white line on the floor of a pipeline cell.

“Hmmm…” He said with a frown, “Better check it out. Not like there’s anything better to do.” The last he added as an aside, but to whom, not even he knew. Caitlin was taking the day off, and no one else was at S.T.A.R. Labs. From Barry and Iris going on a date, to Joe taking someone else’s shift, only Cisco was left to hold down the fort. Even Ralph had something on this evening!

His steps echoing, Cisco made his way to the pipeline, boredom causing him to hum the Star Wars theme under his breath, “hmm-hmm-hm-hm-hm-hmmmmm-hmm-hm-hm-hm-hmmmmm-hmm-hm-hm-hm-hmmm…”

Finally reaching his destination, Cisco opened the doors, and examined the floor for the mysterious white line.  
“Aha!” He muttered, bending down to grab the abandoned pair of white earbuds lying on the floor. But as soon as his fingers touched it, he was transported elsewhere.

 _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry!” Cisco couldn’t see the source of the voice, but he could see why it had been said. A teenage girl lay on the ground, bleeding from a gunshot wound in her thigh. Maybe he didn’t recognise the voice, but he recognised the girl.  
Juliet Mason. The meta they’d helped the other week.  
Quickly looking for a clue as to where they were, Cisco scanned what looked like a corner store before gazing triumphantly at a label on the floor. “Klark’s Basics” it proclaimed. _  
Then it was over.

Still bent down, Cisco blinked in surprise.

“Stay at S.T.A.R Labs, they said, what could go wrong, they said!” He exclaimed as he then carefully scooped up the headphones with a corner of his long-sleeved Big Bang t-shirt. Rushing back to the Cortex, he scowled as he ran around the needlessly winding and curved hallways. Stupid particle accelerator and it’s stupid circuitous needs. Hadn’t fake Wells ever heard of a simple straight hallway? Guess they don’t have them in the future but – he cut off and reprimanded himself, Focus, Ramon!

As soon as he got to the Cortex, he dumped the earbuds on the table, called Barry, and then texted Caitlin for good measure.

A few seconds and a crackle of red lightning later, Barry appeared, eyebrows raised and still in his nice clothes.

“You’re like a genie,” Cisco commented, running a search on his computer, “I call, you appear. I should get three wishes. Nice monkey suit, by the way.”

“Thanks man,” Barry grumped, “What’s up? You know I was in the middle of a date with Iris.”

The search left Cisco with three glowing green dots and he smiled grimly.

“So, you know Illusionist, that girl named Juliet, with the crazy mind-reading powers?”

“Yeah,” Barry said, narrowing his eyes.

“Well I just got a vibe and she’s just been shot.” Cisco said in a voice that really didn’t match the words he just said. He just continued studying the green dots, trying to figure out which one was the one he was looking for.

“What? Where? When?” Barry exclaimed, moving towards his suit.

“Just now, in a Klark’s Basics.” Cisco said briefly before pointing at a dot. “In that one, I think. But it’s a guess”

“4th and Johnston, close to her school?”

“Yep.”

A few bright sparks and a whoosh are the only response that Cisco gets.

<><><>*Barry*<><><>

Barry runs, berating himself all the while.  
Why did you tell her “anyone can be a hero”? What did you think a teenager was going to do? Milliseconds later came a surge of guilt with another thought, I hope she hasn’t got herself killed.

Iris would probably tell him not to take responsibility for everything because it wasn’t his fault the girl had decided to take his advice to heart. But that didn’t stop his heart from beating guiltily and his mind from running over could’ve, should’ve, would’ves.

I arrived at the Klark’s Basics Cisco had pointed at but found everything to be exactly the way it should be.

“Cisco, she’s not here.”

Barry could hear Cisco swear over his earpiece, and almost see the scowl on his best friend’s face. 

“Try the one near Big Belly Burger?”


	21. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And back to the show...  
> TW: blood

Breaths came in gasps, and pain like a high tide that threatens to drown you.

It rushed into all the cracks and corners, aching and driving deeper with every minute. To be honest, I wish I could just black out already. My ears already seemed stoppered because all I could hear was a dull buzz.

I wanted to curl up in on myself, but even trying to move my leg a little caused so much pain. Maybe if I freeze and don’t move the pain will settle?

After what seemed an eternity with dancing spots in my eyes, it died down to a burning throb. It wasn’t by any means less painful, but I had more brain space to worry about what was going on. I tried to listen, but the sound of my heart surprised me.

Kathump, kathump, kathump, kathump

It was loud and fast. Was it too fast? Would it go so fast my body couldn’t catch up? Maybe it would beat right out of my chest. Then I wouldn’t have a heart. What would that feel like?

Focus, Juliet!

I opened my eyes and took a look around.  
I think everyone fled as soon as they heard the gun. The cashier, the frightened customers, everyone except Brynn, of all people. The door swung back and forth on its hinges softly.  
For some reason, he was kneeling beside me, the gun discarded on the floor. His face was panicked and contorted, his brown eyes red and darting.

“…now the police will send me to jail too, and I won’t get out and she’s probably dead and-”  
I grimace, vaguely annoyed. Why was he sticking around? He’d have a better chance at escaping justice if he ran. I guess he’d thought this through as much as he’d thought through the whole armed robbery plan.

As his babblings distract me, I become aware of a wavering in my concentration. His inner voice is pushing at my boundaries, begging to be heard. I guess I hadn’t heard it before because the pain had drowned it out. I’m not sure I’ll soon have the strength to keep focusing.

If my mental wall breaks down, I’ll have more problems than a bullet.

Carefully avoiding my wound, I try to grab it as I slowly wriggle my hand into the pocket of my jeans. A tear rolls down my face and I bite my lip as I touch something that sends lancing hot needles of pain into me, but I otherwise triumphantly slip the now-sticky bracelet onto my wrist with a sigh of relief.

Sticky with what? I don’t want to look.

Turning back to the boy next to me, his eyes lock with mine for a charged moment before opening his mouth again.

“I’m really sorry! You’ve got to believe me!” He said suddenly, adding, “I didn’t mean to, and it wasn’t my fault, and I’m sorry! Please tell them it wasn’t my fault!”

I wanted to tell him that waving his hands around with a gun in them was a stupid thing to do, let alone the fact that he had taken off the safety. That he should take responsibility. But I couldn’t seem to unclench my teeth. I was probably never going to say it anyway. I never do.

Breathe, Juliet, just breathe.

I racked my brains, trying to think of something I could do, but came up empty. I don’t know anything about fist aid, and the boy doesn’t look like he’s going to help me either.

I hope Cara managed to call 911  
I guess I’ll just have to wait.

I close my eyes, trying to grit my teeth through the pain, but then open them almost immediately as I realise that between the coloured blobs dancing across my vision, and the increased awareness of the pain, it was better to keep them open.

Kathump, kathump, kathump, kathump, kathump

Too fast. Too loud.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!

Of course, it doesn’t work. And now I think of it, did I really want it too? My eyes desperately roam for something to distract me and they land on the door that’s just been flung open again.

“Juliet!” Cara cries, the happy tinkling of a bell juxtaposing the charged situation as she takes the scene in. Then she lunges at Brynn.

She tackles him, shouting all the while, and I manage to actually focus on her words a second after she starts.  
“…horrible, selfish idiot! All she was trying to do was help, and you shot her! And now she-she-” tears began to run down Cara’s contorted face, and I couldn’t do anything but stare in shock as she pinned Brynn to the ground. He is too shocked to do anything either. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so emotional, but just as I had the thought, the anger returned, and she hooked a crunching right fist into Brynn’s shocked and exposed jaw.

“Scum.” She spat, snarling at the offending boy. Kicking his gun under some shelves, she ran over to me.

“Juliet!” She yelled, trying to help me up, but I managed to shake my head, then immediately felt dizzy. 

Finally managing to unclench my jaw, I grit out, “Can’t. He shot my leg.”

She reached down to gently touch my wound, but I winced and tried to ward it off.   
Looking at the thing I’d been most avoiding, I saw that the red splotch that had started as a small circle had soaked and spread most of my right pant leg. And the blood is still be gushing.

I make a small sound which ends up sounding like a whimper.

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it

“Oh, Juliet,” Cara says, sinking down to sit beside me, “I’m so sorry. I’m a horrible older sister, aren’t I? I should’ve stayed, not you.”

I don’t know why I’m still thinking of things not to say, but I’m not sure I have much left to lose at this point. Why shouldn’t I say it?

“True,” I say quietly, but add, “I could always tell that you cared though. You just had a funny way of showing it. Sorry for not even trying to get to know you, or the others-I should’ve tried harder.”

You finally say what you need to say, and you’re probably bleeding to death! What’s the chances either of you are going to be able to do anything about it now? Why don’t you ever say things when they’re worth saying?! Face it! You wrapped yourself in a tiny shell, you didn’t just not want to hear their thoughts, you didn’t want to hear them!

“I-.” She replies, but then, seems to focus on my injury, “We need to stop this bleeding. I need to apply pressure, and probably one of those French things that work like rubber bands.”

She props me up against some aisle shelving, making my eyes swim with black spots, then takes my hands and presses them down firmly over my wound, which continues to seep blood steadily onto the wrong side of my skin.

Through my teeth, I let out a strangled scream as black dots dance across my vision, leaving patches of emptiness that flare and fade. It takes my breath away and my face is wet with tears, but she tells me to keep holding it.

Then she runs past me deeper into the store and comes back with a white elastic washing line with hooks on each end. Ripping through the packet, she then wraps it around my leg tightly just above the wound like an oversized rubber band and twists the ends around each other with a thin can of aerosol deodorant like a lever until my leg starts to feel numb. She uses the hooks to attack it to itself and keeps hold of the crazy contraption, so it doesn’t lose tension.

“…can’t call the ambulance because I can’t leave you, but if you don’t get help soon…agh! Stupid teacher who took away my stupid phone! Why today, of all days!” She muttered violently to herself in a steady stream of frustrations and insults and I think it’s the most I’d ever heard her talk at once. Looking back, this was her version of panicking.

I lean my head back against the metal shelving, trying to breathe evenly.

In and out, and in, and out, and in…

Suddenly, a flash of vibrant scarlet brightens the fluorescent space. 

That colour…you’ve seen that colour before. What was it?

The Flash.

<><><>*Barry*<><><>

When Barry finally reaches the right store, he skids to a stop.

On the ground lie two teens. One is kneeling next to the other. Juliet. There’s blood on the floor.

Oh no.

She seemed to still be alive, and her friend looked like she was trying to apply pressure to the wound as well as a makeshift tourniquet.

There was an abandoned handgun on the floor, but the shooter seemed to have disappeared.

Quickly assessing the situation, Barry picked up Juliet and runs her back to S.T.A.R. Labs. He’d come back to make sure the other girl was okay after.


	22. NOT my Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's grab some different perspectives :)  
> TW: blood

Caitlin hurried through S.T.A.R. Labs with a scowl, but underneath there was a current of worry. Cisco could’ve at least told her what she was walking into. What kind of help is a text stating, “Come to Star Labs right now”?

She had just arrived in the Cortex as Barry came in with a crackling burst of electricity. Hurrying into the med bay, she found Juliet lying on the table and Barry standing next to it.

“What happened?” She quickly questioned, washing her hands and grabbing a pair of gloves.

“She was shot.”

“I can see that! Anything else?” Caitlin exclaimed, checking for a pulse and making sure Juliet was breathing. 

Both were irregular, but present, thankfully. Normally, Caitlin was calm and collected in situations like this. “You can’t help anyone if you panic” was the constant mantra, but seeing Juliet, who was only sixteen, with a gunshot wound made her blood burn cold in her veins. If she didn’t know better, she’d think that Killer Frost was trying to take control. You wish, she thought to herself, now focus!

“Not that I know of.” Barry replied, staying out of the way.

“Is this…?” She frowned at the washing line wrapped around the girl’s leg, “How long has this been on?” She asked, but he was already gone.

He should’ve taken her to a hospital – they have better equipment for this sort of thing. But it’s too late now; she needs immediate treatment. I- her racing thoughts were interrupted by Juliet herself.

“Not long,” she said quietly, biting her lip, no doubt to distract her from the greater pain in her leg. Her eyes were having trouble focussing on Caitlin.

Still awake, poor thing, though I’d be more worried if she had blacked out. Haemorrhage is likely for a severe wound to the thigh if the bullet hit the femoral artery. 

Caitlin began to attach an IV line to Juliet’s arm, which was covered in blood, which made it hard to know where to insert the line, but she did her best.

“Do you know what type of bullet…?” Caitlin tried, though she was doubtful the girl knew; it was really just to keep her talking. Working while she spoke, she had grabbed an actual tourniquet, and had begun the process of cutting the washing line and the surrounding bloody denim off.

“I hate bullets.” She muttered, feeling sick inside. Even though she’d never worked in a hospital, she’d known people who had. And the stories they told about bullets were sickening. Caitlin herself hadn’t actually had to deal with many, because Barry was too fast to be hit, Ralph was made of rubber, and the rest of the team could usually avoid them. There was that time with the shrapnel, but somehow, this was different. Juliet was justa kid.

“It was a small handgun, so maybe a 9mm short? But that’s just a guess. It could’ve been anything for all I know. I don’t know much about guns, but my Mum got me to take a lesson once just in case.” Juliet mumbled, obviously desperate to be distracted. 

“I’m going to need to do a scan, to see if the bullet actually needs to come out,” Caitlin said, half to herself, half to Juliet, “then we’ll see about cleaning and stitching and bandaging it.” Suddenly pausing, she added, “Are there any other injuries I can’t see? Broken bones, sprained limbs, anything?”

“Not that I know of.” Juliet murmured, her eyes beginning to drift closed.

Still feeling sick, Caitlin did what she had been trained to do (not really - but she was the only one at the labs with any experience in the right (sort of) field), and by the time she was bandaging, the feeling still hadn’t abated.

<><><>*Joe*<><><>

Joe West was not a patrol cop.

He was a detective, and a damn good one, if you could get him to admit it. Patrol cops made small time arrests, answered 911 calls, and generally took on small cases. Joe, on the other hand, had made several high-profile arrests, had investigated many tricky cases, and used the gun he carried more often than he’d like to think about.

No, Joe West was no patrol cop, but Captain Singh had been short on manpower tonight, so, as a favour, he’d been asked to take a few shifts.

Sighing in resignation, Joe sipped at his coffee and stared out into the empty street from the passenger seat of a patrol car; it was going to be a long night.

“Patrols near 9th and Leafton, please respond. Patrols near 9th and Leafton.”

Reaching for the radio, his partner for tonight, Keating responded, “Patrol car 133 reporting, we are on 9th. Over.” 

“We have a 211 at the Klark’s Basic’s on 9th and Leafton. One gunman and estimated ten civilians. Over.”

211, that’s a robbery, Joe thought, immediately alert and taking the last swig of his coffee before placing the empty cup into his footwell. He gave a nod to his partner who returned it grimly before replying in confirmation.

“On our way. Over.”

Arriving at the scene, Joe couldn’t see a robbery in progress. He could see that there had clearly been a robbery – the abandoned gun and bloodstained floor attested to it – but the only person still at the scene was a seventeen-year-old girl named Cara Wheeler.

At least now Joe could do something that was actually in his job description.  
“Cara, do you know where the robber went?” He asked her gently, seeing the tear-tracks and the blood smears swiped across the girl’s face.

“No, he must’ve run out when I was helping my sister, who he shot.” The girl’s face may have sold her differently, but her tone was defiant and angry. “I can tell you that I managed to land a solid right hook to his jaw before he ran though.”

“Fair enough,” Joe considered, nodding to his partner, who was putting up police tape to avoid anyone disturbing the scene. Then he turned back to Cara, “Can you describe him other than that?”

“He was wearing a black ski mask, with a dark coloured hoodie and khaki pants.” She rattled off confidently, but added with less certainty, “He seemed pretty young, but I didn’t get to see much of him before I ran to call 911. Juliet might know more, but the Flash picked her up and must’ve run her to the hospital.” For the first time, Cara seemed to grow worried. “I hope she’s okay.”

“If the Flash has got her, she’ll be fine.” Joe reassured her, before proceeding to ask more clarifying questions about the girl’s story. Something in the name Juliet seemed familiar, but Joe dismissed it as a mystery he could solve another day.

He hoped Barry got the girl help in time.

Finally, everything had been asked and clarified and red taped and explained to curious bystanders. The CCTV had been examined and the owner had been notified. So, when another squad car pulled up, Joe volunteered to take Cara home to her family. 

Knocking on the thick wooden door produced the immediate effect of two young voices shouting that “they would get it!” and Joe almost cracked a smile, remembering all those times he’d had two willing volunteers also.

The door was hastily flung open and the two boys gaped at the sight of a uniformed officer standing next to their bloodstained and serious-faced foster sister. 

“Aunty! You might want to come quick!” One of them yelled, eyes never leaving the strange pair.

A set of hasty footsteps echoed on the wooden floorboards of the hallway before a middle-aged woman in an apron appeared with intuitive hazel eyes already assessing the situation.

“What’s going on? Where’s Juliet?” Were the first of a rapid-fire series of questions she sent at Joe and Cara. “Why are you covered in- wait. Is that blood?!”


	23. City Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And let's switch to Aunty Lin :)

A few hours, a few disjointed explanations and a patient transfer later, Juliet was sleeping peacefully in a hospital bed while Lin talked to a doctor. The boys were being babysat, and Cara, after satisfying herself that Juliet was alive and well, had gone home to get a shower and a change of clothes.

“Given plenty of rest, some physical therapy and maybe a round or two of antibiotics, your daughter should be physically fine within a year.” The doctor said with a kind smile, “Whoever got to her first did a very good job.”

“Thank you, Doctor Jennings.” Lin said, her shoulders sagging. As the doctor left the room, she sunk into a chair, head in her hands.

<><><><><><>

“Aunty?” A small voice interrupted her thoughts what seemed like hours later. The boys and Cara had been sent home with a babysitter, but Lin herself had decided to stay at the hospital.

“Juliet?” Now she looked up, “Oh my goodness, Juliet!” She hurried to the bed and hugged the sleepy girl as if she’d never let go. As tear rolled down her face as she whispered reverently, almost reassuring herself rather than the girl, “Oh Juliet, Juliet – I was so worried, but you’re okay, you’re really okay! I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Thin arms circled the larger woman in return and the young girl’s face buried itself into her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Juliet whispered.

“Never mind that, I’m just so relieved you’re fine.” Lin said, savouring the hug and the immense relief that came with it.

They sat like that, quietly soaking in the relief and the release of some of the tension that had built up in the last few hours. Finally, Lin pulled back.

“What were you thinking?” She tried to ask gently, but it came out a little choked. Wiping her damp eyes, she peered into Juliet’s youthful face, wondering what was going on in her head. “They said you willingly went up to and talked to the gunman and tried to convince him not to do go through with the robbery! You should’ve just sat tight and let the police deal with it! You didn’t need to get shot!”

“I-I,” Juliet paused, a frown crossing her face, “Cara was up there and-and the guy wasn’t following store policy and someone needed to call 911 and-and-” She trailed off, her escalating and disjunct explanation seeming to lose all its oomph. It was like she was filled with urgency for a second, only to then drain completely. “Sorry Aunty.” She finished with a whisper, sinking back into her pillow from where she’d begun to sit up, eyes dull and tired.

“I’m not disappointed or angry. I was really scared, and I wondered, ‘why would a teenage girl with a whole life to live deliberately put herself in danger unnecessarily?’” Lin said carefully, gripping the girl’s hand gently.

“Oh, Aunty!” Juliet said, her eyes briefly going wide, and adding an emerald speck of colour to her pale cinnamon coloured skin (normally amber) matched with the white papery hospital gown. “It’s not like that, I just wanted to protect Cara and then once I was up there, I saw that Brynn wasn’t-hadn’t done it before and I thought I could convince him not to go through with it.”

“Oh, silly girl,” Lin said affectionately stoking Juliet’s dark hair, “next time, and there will hopefully never be a next time, leave playing hero to the police. Or the Flash, or anyone who has more experience than you!” Smiling softly and erasing all the lines time had given her, Lin cupped her daughter’s face. “Now, you need to rest so you can heal and get better.”

“Mmmhh.” Juliet agreed, eyes already closing. There was probably something in the IV that ran from her arm, but if there was, Lin didn’t know what it was, and she didn’t really care.

Long after the tired girl had drifted off, Lin sat there in the dark, stroking the girl’s hair absently as tears, yet again, rolled down her face. Ruefully swiping them away, she let out a sigh, thanking God silently for His mercies. Who else could you thank when against all odds, both her daughters had lived where others in similar situations had not?

Getting up, she settled herself on the foldout armchair and looked out the window at the city lights.


	24. Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally back to Juliet! Also, I finally figured out how to properly format on AO3!!!

The next day, Cara came to visit. In fact, a lot of people came, but my sister showed up first.

 _As it turns out_ , I would reflect later, _getting seriously injured makes everyone want to pour out their feelings to you._

I yawned, still tired from last night. I had been avoiding touching my leg, as even without the contact, it still ached. Although maybe not as much as it would’ve since I’m sure the nurses put something other than water in the IV attached to my arm. Some sort of painkiller for sure. It made me a little sleepy, that’s for sure.

All this was going through my head when Cara arrived. Aunty had left to take care of the boys earlier this morning, but Cara had wanted to come so she’d done a double run with the car, not wanting to let us go anywhere by ourselves after yesterday.

“Hey Cara,” I said with a smile, ironically more confident with her than I was yesterday.

“Hey,” She said, tucking her short black-as-night hair behind one ear, seeming nervous and simultaneously resigned, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“But it’s not your fault I got shot?” I say, confused.

“But I should’ve done something! Maybe I shouldn’t have gone along with you plan, or I should’ve stayed, but either way I was a horrible sister,” When I started to protest, she cut me off, saying, “and I _don’t_ just mean yesterday.”

I figured I’d stay quiet and let her say her piece before I contradicted her.

“I haven’t been kind; calling you freak and then ignoring you. I cared, I always cared, but I’m not very good at showing it. Sure, I had some other things going on, but that wasn’t an excuse for how I treated you. And then, even after all that, you made sure _I_ escaped first, and then got yourself shot!” The confused frustration seemed to be engraved upon her face as she looked at me with a stare that held ten thousand questions.

“Like you said, you may have treated me like that, but I didn’t ever hate you.” I say quietly, “And I actually think you would’ve done the same if you could.”

The white-washed hospital room was silent, for about two seconds, because when Cara felt the need, she could be really loud.

“You call that an answer?! ‘I didn’t ever hate you’?!” She snorted sarcastically, “I’d hate to be someone you _really_ liked then, if that’s what you do for people you ‘don’t hate’. How am I supposed to keep you safe, like a big sister should, if you go playing hero? I should’ve-” She cut herself off, calming down, “I should’ve been there.”

I let out a small smile, “You would’ve been there if I hadn’t sent you out to make a phone call.”

Scowling, she half glared at me, “This isn’t funny, I’m trying to-”

Interrupting her, (something I wouldn’t have dared to do before) I said, “I _don’t_ blame you. If it’s forgiveness you want, you’ve got it. But if you’re going to make me sit here and get yelled at because you feel guilty, at least give me some earplugs.”

The room was silent for a second, and I was a bit shocked at myself.

_Oops. And THAT, Juliet, is why you should keep your darn mouth shu-_

My thoughts were suddenly broken into by a low chuckle.

“If I thought taking a bullet would actually give you some self-confidence, maybe I should’ve shot you ages ago!” She snorted, but the smile on her face told me it was light-hearted. Eyes wide, all I could do was stare. She was _smiling_ and _laughing_ while talking to _me_?!?

“What’re you staring at?” She asked suspiciously.

“I just- you’re _smiling_.” I said, emboldened a little by her reaction to the last edgy thing I’d said.

She rolled her eyes, but her smile held a little sadness, “I guess I’ve never been very cheerful around you, have I? I guess I’ll put that on the ‘how to be a better sister’ list.”

I smiled, and for the first time in a long time, it felt like – well, I don’t know. Like the start of a really good friendship? Is that too cliché? Are my hopes too high? I almost physically shook my head. _Stop second guessing yourself, Juliet._ _And don’t count the proverbial friendship eggs til they hatch. Just take it one step at a time – as soon as I can walk without a burning pain in my leg._


	25. The Truth

Caitlin came to visit that afternoon and came to warn me about the chewing out Barry was planning to give me.

“He was like: ‘When I said _anyone can be a hero_ I meant _helping_ people, not throwing yourself in front of a gun!’” Caitlin smirked.

“But that’s not even fair!” I protested, “Me and Cara were at the store when _Brynn_ showed up. I was just making the best of a bad situation?” I ended uncertainly. Had I done the right thing? Or was I just ‘playing hero’ like everyone seemed to think?

“Really? Well, maybe I should tell him to get the full story from Joe before coming to chew you out.” Caitlin said, smiling, “In that case it could be considered self-defence gone wrong?”

“It didn’t really go wrong,” I said in an admittingly slightly whiny voice, “Cara got out safely which was the plan all along. And Brynn didn’t actually shoot me on purpose.”

“You keep saying ‘Brynn’, but Joe says the robber was wearing a ski mask. So…?” Caitlin says gently.

“I tried to use my powers to convince him not to do it.” I said, slightly guiltily, “I accidently let slip his name which was partly why he shot me – I know him from my English class at school.”

“Have the police talked to you yet?” She asked, “Identifying the guy could be really important because as far as I know they haven’t caught him yet.”

“Yeah, I will.” I said, feeling like talking was taking up much more effort than I expected this morning. I was tired and being brave by actually putting myself into a conversation was surprisingly draining.

“Guns,” she said in disgust, which is probably the strongest negative reaction I’ve seen from her yet, “I don’t know why the government hasn’t made regulations for them yet.”

“Yeah,” I say, agreeing, but not needing to add much.

She seemed to sense my tiredness and smiled gently, the bed swaying slightly as she got up, “Well, now I know you’re really okay and getting better, I shouldn’t keep you too long. I’m just glad not to lose another person I care about.”

I said nothing, giving her a tentative smile, and wondered who she’d lost that had turned her eyes into impenetrable wells of lonely brownish depth. I get the feeling that she didn’t just ‘care’ about them, but I resisted the temptation to look inside her head. _It’s not polite._ I told myself.

<><><><><><>

Later, the woman from earlier came in, what was her name? Iris. Barry’s wife.

“Hi, Juliet, right?” She said, “I don’t think we met properly earlier; I’m Iris West-Allen.”

She was wearing a black pencil skirt with a beautiful red blouse and small hoop earrings. She carried a purse with a small notebook and pen.

“Yeah,” I said, not really sure why she was here and what to do with her sudden assertiveness. I fidgeted a little with the sheet over my legs, then stopped, trying to seem less nervous.

“I just wanted to ask you some questions for a series of stories I’m working on. I’m an investigative journalist and I’ve always been fascinated by metahumans and their stories. People often think of them as these invincible villains, but I’d like to show everyone that in reality, they’re just like everyone else with a few extra abilities.”

“Okay, I guess…” I trailed off, still uncertain, but hoping she really believed that and wasn’t going to make me look bad. I’d heard some reporters faked sympathy, only to write a scathing article condemning the person.

“So, let’s just start with some simple background stuff. You go to school, right?” She said, flipping open her notepad.

“Yes, Central City High, but probably only until the end of this year.” I would normally be reluctant to tell a veritable stranger this, but I had seen her with the Flash before at S.T.A.R Labs so I guess she could be trusted. I twisted the sheet a bit around my hands.

“I went there! Is Ms Jones still teaching?” She said with and smile, looking up from her notebook for a second.

“Yes! She only does Math now but apparently she was the assistant principal at one point though.” I say, feeling more relaxed because it feels less like an interrogation.

“She was the assistant principal when I was at school. It’s nice to know she’s still bossing kids around. Anyway, you said only til the end of this year?”

“Yeah, after the incident a few weeks ago they- they didn’t feel they were equipped to deal with my ‘special needs’.” I say, embarrassed.

“What? That’s stupid!” Iris says, warmth colouring her voice, “How did this happen?”

“I got called to the assistant principal’s office and she told me that as long as I didn’t act up, the school would take me until the end of the year. I think it was just because I was a meta and they didn’t feel they could control me if I freaked out.” I say, looking at the floor.

“That – that just makes my blood boil. Just because the law doesn’t specify discrimination to do with metahuman abilities doesn’t give them the right-” She cut herself off, “Sorry, that wasn’t very professional of me. You mentioned an incident?”

We continued, and I basically told her everything from start to finish. I don’t really know how it happened but talking about it suddenly didn’t seem as hard when she was directing the conversation. My hands unknotted from the sheet and came to rest comfortably by my sides. When I told her not to include my full name in the article, she wasn’t upset, and she didn’t mind when I told her not to include some personal parts either. All in all, it was kind of nice to let it all out and tell the truth for once. I just hope the story turns out just as well.


	26. Epilogue

****

**_The Metahuman School Girl: a story of gunshots and resilience_ **

_By Iris West-Allen_

A week ago, we all might have glanced over another news story of an armed robbery. If we didn’t, we might have noticed the lack of causalities, and breathed a silent sigh of relief. The story might have mentioned the teenage girl shot in the leg, but I’m sure the story didn’t mention that the schoolgirl was a metahuman.

Juliet’s story began long before that day. It began, just like over two thousand citizens’ in our city, when the particle accelerator exploded. Juliet became a telepath when she was twelve.

“ _Unlike what some people think, I don’t actually want to know what goes on inside everyone’s heads. And I don’t think you would if you could either._ ” She says as I interview her in the hospital. And she has a point; just think about the things that run through our heads every day, and now imagine a twelve-year-old, who is forced to listen.

“ _I only recently got control of my powers,”_ Juliet says, explaining that before she did, crowds were especially difficult because she was forced to hear everyone’s thoughts at once. She was pushed to extreme measures like wearing headphones, avoiding large gatherings and most people in general which, as I understand, left her feeling truly isolated from everyone.

After an accident at school exposed her to the school community, Juliet has been forced to deal with discrimination over the fallout. The high school has reluctantly agreed to keep her enrolled for the rest of the year, but will not invite her back in the future, despite the clearly unintentional nature of the mistake. The lack of laws on metahuman discrimination preventing this is hugely concerning. Why aren’t there provisions to stop innocents from being exposed to unfair prejudice?

Despite these setbacks, Juliet is determined to “be brave” in the face of adversity, and even in the face of a gun! Earlier this week, police positively identified the armed robber as Bronwyn Jones, who will soon be facing justice for charges of attempted armed robbery and assault. The reason Juliet is currently recovering in hospital is due to her bravery in distracting him while her sister ran to call 911. Though her powers are purely mental, she put herself in harm’s way for her loved ones. This is not the story of a villain, like some make metahumans out to be. This is the story of a courageous girl who has overcome her own fear and venerability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t quite sure how to write this ‘epilogue’. I was going to do it as an inner monologue, a bit like the prologue, but I wasn’t really sure if that would capture the narrative voice (if that’s a thing). This feels a little too much like a recap, but I had to balance the fact that this is supposed to be a news article. You’ll have to let me know what you think! If there’s anything missing, or you want to know more about what happened/happens to a certain character, feel free to message me! I really love it and feel encouraged when you guys review. Seriously, if any of you write, you’ll know I’m telling the truth.
> 
> And thus, the *almost* end to my first long fanfic! Because there is a part 2. And I should have some of it posted in a few minutes :)
> 
> If you've made it this far, thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> Until next time,  
> Trix

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest this chapter is a little melodramatic, but in my defence, I wrote it ages ago. I finished this fic a while ago on FF.Net and I'm in the process of writing a sequel so I'll try and post more often than I usually do (once a week on Saturdays).  
> Please keep reading! I promise it gets better!  
> Trix


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